SEVENTEEN | SICKFICS - HURTFICS

Hoshi | Depression

Hi gungunindra288! Here is your request, I hope you'll like it!

Hoshi's POV

Waking up that morning, I felt like a shadow of my usual self. The sunlight streaming through the window was bright, but it felt dull against my skin. I'd always been the cheerful one, the one to lift spirits and rally my members with laughter. Yet today, an invisible weight pressed down on me, draining my energy.

As I got ready, I put on my brightest outfit, determined to mask the heaviness inside. I practiced my smile in the mirror, adjusting it until it felt convincing. "Just act like Hoshi," I told myself. When I joined the others for breakfast, I chatted and laughed, but my heart wasn't in it. I could see the concern in their eyes, but I brushed it off, deflecting with playful banter.

Rehearsal was no different. I danced as if I felt every beat, but inside, I was merely going through the motions. Each time I caught a glance from the members, I could sense their questions. I pushed through, hoping that by embodying my cheerful persona, I could somehow absorb that energy.

But as the day wore on, the façade grew harder to maintain. In the quiet moments, when the world paused, the weight returned. I knew I couldn't keep this up forever, but the thought of worrying them paralyzed me. I longed to share my struggles but feared it would shatter the image they cherished. So, I delved deeper into my act, holding onto the hope that eventually, I would feel like myself again.

Every night, as I lay in bed, I grappled with the question: what's wrong with me? I felt isolated, like I was trapped in a glass box, watching my members navigate their own challenges while I struggled to keep up. I longed to share my feelings but didn't want to add to their burdens. They had their own problems, and I didn't want to be another weight on their shoulders.

I told myself I just had to push through this alone. Each morning, I donned my cheerful mask, telling myself it would get easier. But deep down, I felt a growing disconnect, a gap widening between the Hoshi they knew and the one trapped inside. It was exhausting, this relentless charade, and some nights, I wished I could just be honest.

Still, I fought the urge to confide in anyone. I was determined to weather this storm alone, hoping that eventually, the clouds would clear and I would rediscover the vibrant spirit I had always been. But as the days dragged on, the loneliness gnawed at me, and I wondered how long I could keep this up before I cracked.

As the days passed, I could feel my members growing increasingly concerned. They exchanged worried glances and whispered when they thought I wasn't looking. Whenever they asked if I was okay, I'd simply respond, "I'm just tired," forcing a smile that felt more like a mask.

But I could see the doubt in their eyes. They knew me too well, and my facade was beginning to falter. During practice, I stumbled more often, my energy waning with each routine. I could hear murmurs behind me—"Hoshi doesn't seem himself" or "Is he really okay?"—and each comment pierced deeper into my heart.

Despite my efforts to reassure them, I felt like I was drifting further away from their understanding. Each time they reached out, I recoiled, terrified that if I let them in, it would only complicate their own struggles. I wished I could just shake off this feeling and return to being the bright, lively Hoshi they loved.

Yet, as I went through the motions each day, I felt an internal battle raging. The loneliness was suffocating, and the fear of letting them down kept me trapped. I knew I needed to confront this, but the thought of exposing my vulnerabilities paralyzed me. I was caught in a cycle of silence, longing for support but too afraid to ask for it.

Woozi's POV

From the moment Hoshi and I started dating, I always admired his unyielding energy and infectious spirit. But lately, something felt off. I could see the subtle changes in him—his smile didn't quite reach his eyes, and the laughter that once filled our moments together seemed forced.