Last night I looked at the stars and now I can't stop thinking about kissing you.
11/08/24
Last night I looked up at the sky, and saw the beautiful night canvas filled with stars, I immediately thought of you, like I always do. You made the stars mean something to me. It got me to think about how I hardly think of you anymore, so naturally, I started thinking of you...
I should've saw it coming, but ultimately after a little light media stalking, I ended up dreaming about you as I slept. It seems it's the only time I come back to these books to write about you..
I think it's because it's the only time I feel like I've really seen you, really talked to you, really heard your voice or watched your lips. It's the formality of seeing you with my own eyes, even in a REM reality.
I was at some sort of vacation home with friends, and you came out of nowhere. I hardly remember much now but, you walked over to me as I was against a wall, and you reached your hand up towards my lips, before kissing me. I remember feeling an instant ease, before this killer rush of desire. It was like in that moment we both knew we could just pick up where we left off, and sync without any hesitation.
I spent the entire morning just replaying the bits of that kiss over and over again in my head, relishing any remainder of memory from that dream. I can't stop thinking about kissing you. I can't stop thinking about how you're the one.
I hate that I still think that. Believe me, every other day you don't cross my mind. It's just when I dream of you. Dreaming continues to be the one thing that pulls me down into your lap. I can't even lie and say I hate it, because I fucking love thinking about us. I love to take a few hours of a day, every couple months, and think about what we could've been. Everything I've ever wanted in my life could've come true if you came back.
I wish you would've stayed.
