⚠️TW⚠️
(Tamara's POV)
A month passed and we'd started to prepare for Sarah to come live with us today was the day we got to bring her here I was so excited we arrived at foster care and I ran inside as soon as the car stopped I ran straight to Sarah and we hugged Lucy ran in quickly after followed by Tim "tam you can't run off like that"Lucy said "sorry mummy"I said turning around and giving Lucy a pouty face before hugging her "it's alright honey just don't run off next time okay"Lucy said "yea I won't promise"I told Lucy they went to the front and signed papers whilst I helped Sarah get her same bundle of things she was still wearing our matching bracelet and necklace as was I but you could tell she still hadn't showered she must of seen my gaze a little too long at her hair and face because she she sighed and said "sorry I didn't shower I just know it would take forever for me to untangle my hair"she said "it's alright Sarah I'm not judging but if you wanted I'm sure Lucy wouldn't mind doing your hair and maybe if you were comfortable she could help with your body too she helped me take baths when I first came to theirs"I said "I'll see maybe tomorrow"Sarah said we all got in the car and drove back to ours I showed Sarah to our room and she was really happy when we went out to eat dinner Lucy saw Sarah's hair "you know Sarah I have some really good hair products I could use if you wanted me to untangle your hair it would probably only take an hour and a half"Lucy said and Sarah nodded "I'd like that thanks Lucy"Sarah said "of course"Lucy said we continued eating then after tea Lucy took Sarah into the bathroom and helped her untangle her hair and she braided Sarah's hair just like mine she looked so much more healthier with clean skin and hair we ran into my room and started to play then we both got into my bed and fell asleep a week passed it was now Sunday we went shopping together like family and getting the essentials then we loaded the car and went back home another few weeks passed and I'd realised Sarah's butterfly had gone and she'd been more clingy to me as if something was going to happen then I realised the safety pins were gone too i just looked at Sarah then I asked "Sarah can you put the safety pin back on please" scares she was going to do something but she didn't answer me she just snuggled into my arms.
A few more days passed and I'd always see Lucy and Tim coming out of the bathroom with cloths that was red it didn't take long to figure out it was Sarah's blood then one night I was asleep when I shook awake by Lucy "tam baby wake up Sarah's being rushed to hospital"Lucy says desperately as she scooped me up and ran outside she rushed to the hospital and Sarah was in the hospital bed she had bandages all up her thighs and arms and she had tube in her throat again I watched through the window as they pumped her stomach again this time she was awake within a few hours "Sarah"I said excited when I saw her eyes flutter open "hi Tamara"she said trying to hide from the light with her hands "so no more butterfly" she said sadly "we can do it again except this time I'll make sure it doesn't come off"I told her "yea I know"she said as she moved over and patted next to her I climbed in next to her and then she was being taken away to the psych ward again we went home but I felt alone again I just went straight back to bed
we started to make Sarah a get well soon basket we had it set up in her bed we was going to go visit her and drop it off we were getting ready when there was a knock at the door it was the nurse "hey can we help you?"Tim asked "does Tamara Collins live here?"the nurse asked "yes why?"Tim asked I could hear them from the kitchen I went to the door but it closed after the nurse mumbled something and left "Tamara"Lucy shouted I went over to them "yes mummy why was the nurse here"I asked "baby she gave us some news come sit down"Lucy said I sat down "Tamara do you know how Sarah was at the psych ward"Lucy says "yes"I said "well do you know how she's attempted before but it never worked"Lucy asked "yes wait where is this going"I asked getting scared "baby I'm really sorry Sarah she umm took her life last night the nurses found her body in her room this morning"Lucy said as she pulled me into a hug I started to sob "it can't be her Sarah said she wasn't going to do that again she promised me she wouldn't"I told Lucy as I pulled away from the hug "baby it definitely was her"Lucy said then she gave a letter "they found this on her bed"Lucy said I opened the envelope and took out the letter then I saw her safety pin and necklace as-well as her bracelet i opened the letter it read:
Dear Tamara,
If your reading this then I'm dead I'm really sorry about lying to you but I couldn't take it anymore I know your probably sad I didn't fulfil my promise and stay but it was too hard although Tim and Lucy was good people as were you I know I don't belong with you guys and I'd rather be off this earth then stay here any longer I wish I could've seen you again before it came to this point but I know that you're probably busy I hope you're doing well and you know it's not your fault I am so happy I met you before I died you showed me what friends are and I'll never forget that I put my safety pin,necklace and bracelet in the envelope so that you can have them I know you won't forgive me for taking my life like this but I needed to be gone for good anyways nurses are about to finish their night shifts for two hours so I'm going to go now,love you always Tamara
P.s your favourite butterfly
I started to cry I cuddled up to Lucy "mummy"I sobbed as she pulled me closer to her "it's alright tam I'm here mummy's here"Lucy says as she rocked me back and forth I finally managed to stop crying and fall asleep on Lucy's lap I felt her arms wrap around me and she pressed a kid to my forehead "love you tam"Lucy whispered as she swayed me again "love you too mummy"I whispered back as I fell asleep.
