⚠️TW⚠️ (Tamara's POV) I woke up in the middle of the night and I got sad immediately thinking about how he'd left us possibly forever I felt an urge to cut I felt a need a craving for pain it was gnawing at me I got out of bed and went into Lucy's room I opened the door and she was asleep I got in the bed and Lucy moved a little then she rubbed her eyes before checking her phone "Tam it's 3am are you okay?"lucy asked looking at me I nodded "I just felt a urge to cut so I came in here so I wouldn't"I told her and she smiled at me before pulling me into her arms "I'm so proud of you tam you are doing so good at not hurting yourself anymore"Lucy said as she smiled more "thanks" I said smiling back at her I snuggled into her arms and rested my head on her chest before falling asleep
The next day I went with mum to the station and Tim was there "mum dads here"I said excitedly and before I could even stop myself I ran to him and hugged him tightly but he pushed me off him and I bashed my head against the desk it started to bleed a lot and my ears were ringing I heard Lucy shout something at Angela then she put my head in her lap and stroked my face softly telling me to keep my eyes open and that I was going to be okay then paramedics came in they got me on the gurney and rushed me into the ambulance they tried to leave without mum so I grabbed her hand and held it tightly a sob escaped my mouth as I called out for her they allowed her in with me then they shut the door and we sped off to the hospital then I felt pressure on my head it really hurt I started crying and trying to get there hands away "stop that it hurts"I managed to mumble but one of the paramedics told me I was okay and I was safe but they had to sedate me to keep me still then I felt a pinch in my arm and my eyes shut as my vision went black.
The next thing i know I'm waking up in a hospital bed and there's a bandage on my head and a plaster in my arm then an iv in my other arm I could hear machines beeping faintly I moved my hand a little to scratch my nose and I felt a tube in my nostril and taped to my cheek they'd given me a feeding tube "m-m-mum"I stuttered out my voice weak and hoarse "tam hey baby how do you feel?"she asked "I feel okay I guess but what's with the tube and needle?"I asked "the doctors just realised that even though your eating your weight still isn't that good so they've put in a feeding tube and the iv is just for pain meds because they had to stitch your head up"Lucy told me and I went to touch the bandage but Lucy put my hand down and rubbed her thumb over it "don't touch it baby you'll make it more sore"Lucy told me "mum?"I asked "Yes baby"she replied "does dad hate me I mean he pushed me away from him because I hugged him"I said sad and Lucy seemed really stuck on how to explain it to me I could see it in her facial expression "I just think he needs space for a while baby"Lucy told me "but how can he go to work in the same building as us then not even say hi"I asked "because he just does honey"Lucy told me "can he atleast say sorry to me"I asked "I'll message him now okay you try get some rest"Lucy said as she picked up her phone (The Message:
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I heard Lucy's phone ringing then dads voice -hi Tamara I'm sorry for pushing you )he said then u heard him mutter "you deserved it" under his breath I pressed hang up and started crying Lucy hugged me gently "why does he hate me so much"I asked Lucy "it's not you tam I promise okay"she said I just nodded before I took her hand and held it in mine before falling asleep the next day the doctor took out my iv and feeding tube and told me not to shower for a week but after that I could we headed home then the next day we went to the station I saw tim and clenched my fists I was about to run to him and punch him when Lucy scooped me into her arms "baby no"she whispered into my ear as she sat me on a chair "mum let go please I'm so mad at him"I said trying to get free but she just held me tightly in a hug "you have to let me please mummy he hurt me"I said sad as a few tears rolled down my cheek "tam I know your angry and I get that but that doesn't mean you get the right to hurt them okay"Lucy said holding my hands "why can't I he made me bleed I was in hospital because of him he hurt me first so why can't I hurt him back"I yelled at Lucy "darling it's okay but no hurting people okay"she told me i nodded "can I go toilet?"I asked her she nodded "go ahead you remember where it is?"she asked "yep"I said getting up but I immediately bolted to tim and started hitting his back yelling that I hate him I started crying and he just tried to back away but I kept hitting him harder and harder Lucy ran over and pulled me back holding my wrists together and cradling my head with her hand I kept yelling at her to let me go but after a while I calmed down and relaxed into Lucy's arms she held me closer as she stood up I rested my head on her shoulder she swayed me gently back and fourth in her arms she took me into the office and told me i shouldn't of hurt tim I felt bad and guilty as I saw him with an ice pack in his chest and leg where I'd punched him but he'd hurt me first and I didn't want him being mean to me anymore I was so done with it I fell asleep in Lucy's arms.
