⚠️TW⚠️
(Tamara's POV)
We went home and sat on the sofa watching a film then I went to my room and lay in bed for a few hours watching my phone then I walked to the kitchen to get a drink then I walked through the living room about to go to my room when Lucy said "tam I think we should have a chat"she patted next to her "is it a bad chat?like your kicking me out chat?or your sending me to a mental health facility chat?"I said panic immediately coursing through my veins "it's not bad I just want to ask some things"Lucy said I nodded I sat at the end of the sofa facing her
"so i know you don't like the idea o-"Lucy started but i cut her off "are you sending away?"I asked scared "i promise I'll be better you can't send me away please Lucy"I begged she held my hand "baby I'm not sending you away just let me finish talking okay?"she said I nodded
"okay I was saying I know you don't like the idea of being alone with a stranger but you know my boss grey?"she asked I nodded "well I found out his wife Luna whose really nice is a therapist so I was thinking if we get you used to Luna a little maybe she could be your therapist"Lucy said I didn't know but I nodded slightly
"Okay well grey is bringing Luna with him tomorrow so we can introduce you guys and hopefully you will trust her enough to talk to her"Lucy said I nodded "does that mean you can come with me now?"I asked she shook her head "no I still can't come with you into the session but it should help you with everything"Lucy said "do I have to tell her about before I met you i don't want to speak about it I've already been able to forget most of it i don't want to just bring it all back the nightmares and that"I told Lucy "I know but after each session hopefully you'll feel better like you've healed the younger you and then all you would have to worry about is your future and therapy could help you with your self harm"Lucy said
"but I don't self harm anymore"I said confused
"I know it's not like that but when you hurt yourself when you're scared about being punished the therapist will see it as self harm still"Lucy told me "so technically I'm going to tell someone my problems for them to call me crazy"I said angry Lucy pulled me into a hug "I know it seems like that but I promise Luna is nice she won't call you crazy okay"Lucy reassured me "and what happens if she thinks I'm crazy and she gives me pills to take or worse injections I don't want that I don't want this I don't even want this stupid life anymore"I yelled getting up and running to my room slamming the door behind me I just lay in my bed thinking about how the world would be better without me I heard Lucy knock on my door "tam darling I'm gonna go shop quick do you wanna come?"lucy asked "no I'm going to stay here thanks tho love you"I said "love you too tam"Lucy said I heard the door shut i wrote a letter to Lucy then Angela and the other officers at the station who I knew partially then I waited a few minutes before i headed into the kitchen i grabbed a ton of the pill bottles from the medicine cabinet and swallowed them as i waited for the bath to fill up if I wanted to die I wanted to make sure it worked just as I swallowed the last pill the bath was ready I locked the door and got in the bath I didn't like the feeling at all I squeezed my eyes shut as my vision went black.
(Lucy's POV)
I just opened the door when I heard the sound of a tap running it was coming from the bathroom door I knocked on it "Tamara turn the tap off"I said but got no reply "tamara answer me"I demanded still no reply and water was going on the floor I dropped the shopping bags and kicked down the bathroom door Tamara was unconscious in the water I quickly turned off the tap and pulled Tamara out i checked for a pulse it was gone I started compressions going as hard as I could I couldn't let her die not when she had only just got the life she deserved she was about to heal to get a second chance I heard a small gasp and saw her coughing up a ton of water it was like the pool all over again I saw pill bottles on the floor I grabbed out my phone
dialling 911
-911 how may I help you?
-it's my daughter Tamara she tried to take her life she took a lot of pills and she drowned herself
-and is she dead or alive
-I did compressions she's breathing but she hasn't opened her eyes yet
-okay I'm sending an ambulance to you what's your address
-23 boulevard avenue please tell them to hurry I can't lose her
-just keep your fingers on her pulse and make sure she stays breathing
-okay I will how far is the ambulance
-eta 3 minutes
-okay her pulse is going down it's going low really low wait hold on wait wait
-what happening ma'am?
-her pulse is gone I'm doing compressions again wait it's back thank god she's gasping for air but she isn't getting any I think her lungs are filled with water
-ambulance has just pulled up there going to need you to move out the way okay I'm going to hang up now.
the line ended
"Ambulance is coming in"a paramedic yelled the front door bust open they quickly lifted Tamara onto the gurney and rushed her to the ambulance speeding away when I got to the hospital I sat in the waiting room I dialled Angela's number
-hey luce what's up
-please can you come to grey shaw memorial I need you
-on my way
Angela hung up a few minutes passed and I saw Angela came in and gave me a hug "what's going on?"she asked concerned "Tamara tried to k!llherself"I told her "that's awful have you had any news yet"Angela's asked "no they haven't said anything i just hope she's not dead"i told her just as Angela opened her mouth to reply a doctor came into the waiting room "Family of Tamara Collins"the doctor called out me and Angela followed him to Tamara's room she was in the bed connected to a lot of IVs and a few different machines her hands and legs were restrained and she was awake and freaking out we was watching through the window as a doctor was trying to intubate her again she looked petrified trying to move her arms and head "can i go in there look at her shes petrified"I said the doctor opened her door and i went in taking her hand "m-mummy"she said starting to cry "hey baby it's okay"i said rubbing her head "can you please tell them not to force a tube down my throat it's just going to be like last time it's really uncomfortable and I can't sleep with it in"she begged "I know but it's to help yea how about we let the doctor do it because I brought your phone so we can use that to talk"I told her "I'll let them do it but only if they unrestrain me so I can cuddle into you"she said "Tamara unfortunately you are not aloud the restraints off until you're trusted we managed to take a look at your records and we saw quite a few self inflicted wounds on you"thr doctor said "b-but they can't keep me tied up I'm not crazy I'm not crazy I swear mum please"Tamara said scared "she's gone through lots and i can explain most of the wounds I'm a cop I won't lie for example Angela come here"I said Angela came over to me "see this wound on Angela's hand is almost the same as Tamara's that's because Tamara accidentally made Angela cut her hand and her parents have scared her so bad that she believes if she doesn't get equal pain to the person she hurt then she will be punished"I said "as much as that is sad we have to follow her records"the doctor said "and this tube has to be put in"the doctor said lifting it up Tamara moved her head and tried to hide it under the blanket "don't touch me get away"she said as the doctor lifted up her head Angela held her other hand but Tamara was getting more scared by the second "CAN EVERYONE JUST STOP TOUCHING ME!"she yelled everyone backed away and Angela pulled her have away I moved my hand to.
