⚠️TW⚠️
(Lucy's POV)
"Is she okay?"Angela said looking concerned
"yea she just blames herself a lot and if she does something even by accident that hurt someone she won't stop until she make sures she did the equivalent to them so she can't get a punishment or anything bad"i said "really how bad is it?"angela asked "well yesterday she was gone for a while because she accidentally knocked my ice cream over and she went shop and spent her money to get me ice cream"i said "and when she was younger when we first took her in she accidentally made me burn my hand on the hob she pressed her hand down as hard as she could onto the hob my burn wasn't bad healed in two days hers needed treating and didn't heal for two weeks because of how it blistered"I said "wow is she scared of getting hurt then?"angela asked "yea well by others anyway it's like her worst fear"I said Tamara had slightly woken up "warm"she mumbled
snuggling into my arms "what baby?"I asked confused she snuggled more into me "your warm"she said hugging me "are you cold?"I asked her she nodded I grabbed her a blanket and wrapped it around her then I hugged her "better now?"I asked she nodded "very nice and warm"she said gripping onto my top and burying her face in my chest again I rubbed her back "I tell you what I've finished my work for today and so has Lucy so why don't we go get hot chocolates and some food?"Angela asked.
(Tamara's POV)
We walked to a cafe and got some hot chocolates to take away then we went to pizza express I got a small margarita pizza and Lucy and Angela got medium pizzas I cut my pizza into six small slices and started eating it slowly
then I slowly moved the knife under the table and looked at Angela's wounded hand I sliced my palm open and put my hand down on my lap I ate more of my pizza "is that nice tam?"lucy asked i didn't respond "tam speak"Lucy said "blood"I said "there's no blood on it tam"Lucy said confused "no blood is here"I said raising up my hand and pointing at the cut lucy quickly grabbed the napkins off our table and putting it over the cut "baby I already told you I'd never give you a punishment why would you do this"Lucy said pulling me over to her "too make sure you don't have a reason to be mad at me"I said as I felt her put more pressure on the wound "mum can you stop that hurts"I said trying to move her hand off my injured one "baby it needs pressure"Lucy said keeping her grip on the cut "Angela can you ring bailey and explain what happened tell her to come here and take a look at Tamara's hand"Lucy said handing her phone to Angela a few minutes later I heard tyres screeching outside Bailey came in and sat me on a chair "let me look"she said taking my hand and putting it on hers "let's get her out to my ambulance it's gonna need stitches and cleaning"she said trying to lead me out but I didn't want to "let go of me"I said trying to move back Lucy came up behind me "baby she's just helping we need it treating okay I'll be right there with you I promise"Lucy said "carry me?"I asked reaching up Lucy placed a hand on my back then an arm under my legs and scooped me up.
She put me on the gurney in the ambulance and Bailey started to clean up the cut it started to hurt a lot "can you stop now it burns"I said pulling my hand away but she grabbed it back "Tamara I have to treat it okay it's going to burn a little because it's being cleaned with rubbing alcohol"bailey said using the wipe over my hand again "mum make her stop"I said looking up at Lucy teary eyed "baby I know it hurts but it needs treating"Lucy said rubbing my arm I kept pulling my hand away from bailey and she seemed really agitated she grabbed my hand back "Tamara move your hand again and I'll have to restrain you so I can treat it just stay still"she said wiping over the cut once more before picking up a threaded needle "no mum no you can't let her put that in my hand please no no no"I said freaking out "Tamara I have to let her it's her job maybe we can do something to help you stay calm"Lucy said "I have a relaxant sedative I could give you it would make you relaxed and calm but not asleep"Bailey said "is it a needle?"I asked "yea well it's two needles one in the arm which is injured and then obviously I'd do the numbing injections in your hand so you don't feel the needle"Bailey said "can mum lie with me?"I asked "of course I can"Lucy said sitting on the gurney I pulled myself onto her chest and she started to stroke my head it was comforting.
Bailey did the injections then said she started to do the stitches I stayed still and just rested on Lucy then I felt Bailey wrap my hand in a bandage "Lucy make sure she doesn't use this hand or get it wet for atleast a week then I'll come over and see if it's healed"Bailey told Lucy she nodded she opened the ambulance door "Angela whilst your here let me take a look at your hand"Bailey asked me and Lucy sat on the bench I quickly sat by her again Angela got on the gurney and Bailey took off Angela's bandage "this isn't that bad just needs cleaning and a butterfly stitch with tape"Bailey said as she did it "remember Tamara don't get it wet for two weeks and no using it either"Bailey said I nodded "Angela yours should be fine in a couple days when the wound closes"Bailey told Angela me and Lucy got in the car and started driving home it was quiet an awkward scary quiet Lucy kept glancing down at me then focussing back on the road like she was trying to figure something out I just started at my hands "mum do you hate me?"I asked "why would I hate you tam?"Lucy asked "because I have a lot of problems but trust me I get it if you hate me I'm beginning to hate me too"I said still staring at my hands "baby I don't hate you but why do you hate you your a good kid tam"Lucy said "why would I not hate me I mean i hate how many problems I have and half the time I can't explain why i have the problems I mean i know it's probably the trauma but it's been forever since anything that bad happened so why do I still have problems"I said getting angrier "because it takes time to heal and you haven't had like professional help yet but i think we should just try therapy it can help you"Lucy said but I shook my head no "no I'm not telling my trauma or anything to a stranger I don't know"I said "i think we should just try a few sessions it won't be bad and you'll get some time to tell someone else what has happened to you"Lucy said "wait so you can't come?"I asked "no i can drop you off and pick you up but you have to be alone"Lucy told me "I'm definitely not talking to a stranger let alone be alone with one"i told Lucy.
