⚠️TW⚠️
(Tamara's POV)
Angela held my other hand but i was getting more scared by the second "CAN EVERYONE JUST STOP TOUCHING ME!"i yelled everyone backed away and Angela pulled her have away lucy moved her hand away to i tried to reach it again "mum hold my hand"i said scared lucy held it again and i squeezed it really tight "it's okay baby"she whispered into her ear the doctor came over with a sedative
"Tamara were going to sedate you okay"the doctor told me "mum I'm scared"i said as i felt the prick of a needle on my arm "mummy"i said as my eyes fell closed and i clutched her hand tighter when i woke up there was the tube down my throat and my throat was dry already but atleast the restraints were gone i squeezed mums hand and she looked at me "tam baby we got some good news and bad news you can have your intubation removed tomorrow evening but they said since you did attempt and because you have been hurting yourself there going to send you to the mental facility again"Lucy told me my stomach dropped i shook my head no and grabbed her hand really tight i started to panic a lot the machines started beeping like crazy i picked up my phone.
-mum you can't let them take me away again i can't lose you please don't let them i only just got back to you
-i know it's hard I'll see what i can do
Lucy left the room and then came back
"Tamara the doctors said the best they can do is admit you to there mental ward for three weeks and they said only one person can stay with you okay so no need to stress everything is sorted"Lucy told me i nodded and tried to smile but it hurt "tam you look exhausted try get some sleep"Lucy said stroking my cheek I nodded and closed my eyes.
The next morning they took out the intubation and I immediately buried my face in Lucy's chest crying "baby it's okay"Lucy said rubbing my back "can I get something to eat something cold and I need a drink my throat is dry"I told Lucy "of course how about take out I could order us pizza and Coca Cola"Lucy says I nodded she ordered it and we are the food whilst watching a film then the doctor took us up to the ward "okay so aslong as you let us check you for any wounds every day and you don't hurt yourself you will only be here three weeks"the doctor said then left my room
the next morning the nurse came in and checked me and said I was good no new cuts so I was happy I stayed clingy to Lucy the whole three weeks I was there when I was released from the hospital me and Lucy went home and relaxed.
Then the next morning we went to the station to meet Luna I was nervous but Lucy said she was nice so I atleast I knew she wouldn't hurt me we arrived at the station and I clung to Lucy's side we entered greys office and I saw grey and his wife talking she turned around "hey you must be Tamara I'm Luna greys wife"she said I nodded shyly and hid behind Lucy "would you maybe like to tell me something about yourself?"luna asked I just held onto the back of Lucy's top and pulled on it "mum can we go now"I said trying to leave the office "baby it's okay lunas nice come here"Lucy said as she moved me infront of her i buried my head in Lucy's chest "Tamara do you maybe have a favourite animal did you know when I was your age my favourite animal was a monkey"she said i turned around "you liked monkeys?i like bunnies and giraffes there cuter"I said giggling
"giraffes are very cute"Luna said I nodded "would you maybe be up to have our first session on Saturday?"she asked I nodded
"is mum allowed with me?"I asked
"well she can't be in the session but you could always bring like a comfort item maybe a teddy you like something that makes you feel safe I turned back to mum "mum can I wear of your hoodies at the session?"I asked she nodded "l that's a good idea tam"Lucy said I hugged her
"Okay then see you Saturday bye guys"Luna said waving to us as we left greys office I waved back we got to mum's office and she did her work then it was Saturday morning Lucy did my hair into plaits and gave me her hoodie I put it on then we drove to lunas office she came and got me from the waiting room and I said bye to mum before following her to her office.
I sat on the sofa and she sat in her chair "so Tamara where should we start?"she asked I shrugged my shoulders "if you wanted we could start with the easier stuff maybe you could tell me?"she asked I shook my head no "or maybe this session could just be getting you comfortable in a new environment"Luna said I nodded "if you wanted maybe you could do something fun whilst speaking to me?"she said "when's mum coming?"I asked looking at the door "it's only been five minutes we still have 55 left"she said I nodded "maybe I could start with when I first met Tim and Lucy did you know that when I first met Angela and Nyla they tried to use a blood test on me to get DNA but Lucy stopped them before they could get the needle in"I told Luna "no i didn't know that but did anything else bad happen when you first met Tim and Lucy?"luna asked "well I used to get punished when I was younger if I did something wrong and I get scared a lot about getting a punishment so when I first went to stay with Tim and Lucy
I accidentally made Lucy burn her hand so I burned my hand too so we was equal and they wouldn't have a reason to hurt me"I said "and is that what made you start self harming?"she asked "no it started when i had cancer and both Lucy and Tim were sick so I had to stay with Angela I cut my wrists so I could go hospital and get better then I'd be able to see Lucy and Tim sooner"I said "and do you still get thoughts about harming yourself?"she asked I nodded "sometimes but I wouldn't do it"I told her "I also heard you recently attempted to take your life could you maybe tell me about that?"she asked "I just got overwhelmed and I wrote letters then went in the bathroom and ran a bath then I took pills and drowned myself"I told her
"and where was Lucy?"she asked "she was at the shop getting us snacks"I told Luna "and what about before Lucy with your biological parents?"luba asked me I panicked "can we finish the session now i really need my mum?"I asked getting up and looking out the window frantic"where did mum go?"i asked getting overwhelmed "I'll give her a ring try take some deep breaths"Luna said picking up her phone
I lay face down on the sofa and waited for mum as soon as I heard her voice I ran to her "mum please take me home I don't like this I don't like therapy please can we go"I begged her "it's okay baby I just need to talk to Luna okay"Lucy said I nodded I sat back in the waiting room whilst mum was in Lunas office.
(Lucy's POV)
I went into lunas office "what happened?"I asked "I think her parents probably did bad stuff to her when she was younger"Luna said "okay and why did she go panicked?"i asked "she was doing great until I asked her about her biological parents then she freaked out the second after I asked she asked me if we could finish the session so something bad happened I'm assuming"Luna said I nodded "thank you see you next Saturday?"i asked "yea see u then same time I'll bring some colouring for her to do next session might help her be more calm"Luna said i nodded "anyways I best get her home but really thank you"I said "of course your my friend"Luna said I smiled and nodded before saying bye me and Tamara got in the car then I drove us home we went inside and lay in the couch Tamara was really quiet I stroked her hair but she immediately covered her head and flinched three times quickly I pulled her into my chest but she seemed scared terrified almost "mum I'm really sorry for misbehaving I accept the punishment now"she said going into her room.
I entered after a couple minutes but she was n@ked on her bed "Tamara oh my god put this on"I said pulling off my hoodie and giving it her "I-i don't understand it's punishment time i have to do this?"she said scared "baby what do you have to do?"i asked but she seemed to snap out of whatever she was seeing or doing she got dressed into pjs then put my hoodie back on her i left her alone in her room and rang luna "Luna I think these sessions are not good for tam"I said "why?"she asked concerned "she had a flashback or something it seems she told me she was rest for punishment time then when i went in her room she was naked on her bed and when I asked what she was doing she just said it was punishment time and that's what she had to do
then she snapped out of it and got dressed I don't like how it's already making her"I said fearful "i know but if something did happen once she's told someone then she won't have to worry about it"Luna said I thanked her and hung up.
I went to Tamara's room and she was awake "baby can I ask you a question?"I said she nodded "when you were younger did anyone ever hurt you on your private area"I asked and for a second fear flashed through her eyes "no nobody touched me or hurt me whoever said they r@ped me is wrong nobody touched me"she says defensive "baby your not in trouble I just want to know because earlier you seemed to be in a flashback but you were scared of everything and said it was punishment tim-"I started but Tamara flinched "punishment time?"she asked scared "no no no please I promise I won't be naughty again I'll behave please no punishment"she begged "baby I was just telling you I'm not giving you a punishment your not in trouble"I told her "can I be left alone now?"she asked scared I left her room and sat on the sofa an hour later I heard footsteps and saw Tamara walking over to me she cuddled up into my lap and I just held her close she closed her eyes after a couple seconds.
