The Muse•{Sting x Reader high school AU}

18

Sting laid in his bed, staring up at the ceiling. The room was dark, silent, and for the first time... felt heavy. It felt like his heart weighed fifty pounds and was weighing him down into the bed. Sure, fifty pounds may not have been heavy to him usually, but tonight... it weighed him down. He let out a sigh, and peeled his eyes away from the pattern of the ceiling to the bed side digital clock. It was 2:13 am, and he had gotten no sleep whatsoever. He couldn't stop thinking. He couldn't stop thinking about you. He couldn't stop thinking about Loke, and who he was to you exactly. He kept thinking about your smile, especially the one he saw you share with Loke. He saw how easy it was for you to talk to Loke, to be close to Loke, to laugh and smile with him. It was as if you knew him your whole life, which he figured you probably had, but still... there was something there that he knew he didn't have with you, and he was jealous. He knew he was jealous. He wasn't going to deny that. He wanted that with you. So very desperately. He wanted to be the one to make you laugh and smile like that, he wanted to be able to be that close to you.

He looked back up at the ceiling, looking at the boring pattern. You were racing through his mind, and he knew that you were probably the reason why his heart felt so heavy. He wondered what you were doing, if you were still up or trying to sleep. Maybe you were painting or drawing to relieve some stress, or maybe you were with Loke. Oh, how he hated that thought. He debated on calling you, making sure you weren't with him. But there were a few problems with that. The first one was that he doesn't have your number. The second, if you were asleep, he'd feel bad for waking you up. But this was driving him crazy, he was ready to pull his hair out!

He flipped around in bed, sticking his arm under his pillow and closing his eyes, trying his best to fall asleep. But it wouldn't work. He could still only think of you. His thoughts were plagued with you. His mind has never been plagued with thoughts of just one person. But he didn't hate it. His heart may have felt heavy in his chest, but it also felt warm. It may have been dark in the room, but thinking about your smile made it seem brighter. He liked the feeling you gave him. Warmth, kindness, sweetness, and the hint of nervousness anyone would feel when they felt this way. But now there was the twinge of jealousy, the feeling of green, where he felt like there was a competition, one he was desperate to win... What was he thinking? You weren't some prize to be won.

He flipped over to his other side, his head hitting the pillow in a frustrating way. Why couldn't he sleep? He knew it was because of you, but what exactly about you? Was it the fact he didn't like Loke around you, or was it because he wanted to know what you thought of him? You seemed nervous around him still, but you seemed to be warming up to him. You were smiling more, sure, but you were smiling at Loke too. He wanted to be the only one you smiled at. He wanted to do anything he could to make sure you only smiled at him like that. He wanted to be close to you like Loke was. He wanted to place his hand on your shoulder tenderly, in a comforting way.

It seemed crazy to him, really. He's known you for what? A week? Week and a half at most? And you already had him feeling this way?

He turned again, looking up at the ceiling, wide awake. What could he do? He could simply tell you, but would it really be that simple? He could have Yukino drop hints for him, and see what information she can find out. Maybe he could just start getting close to you, and maybe you wouldn't notice it and would just feel natural to you. And slowly, you would start feeling this way about him too. But what exactly was this feeling?

Love, his father would say. Or at the very least a very strong liking. The feeling where you want to keep this person all to yourself, not wanting to share them with anyone else, but knowing that they're an amazing person so you'd have to share them with the world. It's a self desire, wanting to keep someone all to oneself, but is it really that selfish if the other person wants it to? He just had to know if you liked him like that too, if you felt the same way he did. Did you want him to smile at only you, did you want him close to you too? He wanted to see what it would be like to hug you. He felt like it would be warm and soft, like the energy that you put out constantly. He would like to hold your head to his chest so you could hear his heart beat. He wondered what it would feel like to have your heart close to his. Would they beat in sync?