letting go (b.beckham)

chapter two

a l l i s o n

waking up at 2 in the morning for no valid reason
checking your phone & hoping there's a text from
him but there isn't. ugh, how can i stop myself. im
so tired being like this every single day. i am so so
tired. i dont even know what to do anymore. how
can i move on, how can i forget him. i hate seeing
myself in the middle of the night crying because
of him. i am sick & tired with the same old shits.

...

its wednesday morning, and i dont feel like going to school today. i feel so tired. brother's going home tonight & i cant wait. i hate being alone.

i decided to just stay at home today cause i really dont feel like going to school.

while eating my breakfast i decided to check my phone if i have some unread messages.
and yes, of course i have.. from my brother, my mom, and some friends.

geez, i remember before i always wake up with a long & sweet messages from him. i always start my day with a big smile 'cause of him. i really miss him, i really do.

ugh i seriously hate this feeling. everything i do, everything i see, everything i hear reminds me of him! every single thing reminds me of him!

why is it so hard to forget him! i want to move on, but how? i always try but nothing's happening and i hate myself so much for that.

it hurts that i am the only one who's holding on, it hurts to know that he isn't thinking about me anymore, it hurts to know that he's already in love with other girl now, and what hurts the most is that, that "other girl" is my friend, my old friend.

i am sick & tired with all my pointless dramas every single day, i am so tired loving someone who doesn't even love me anymore, i am so freaking tired blaming myself for loosing him & yes, its my fault. its all my fault.

i broke him, i hurt him when all he does is to love me.

- lia
allie, why didnt you attend class again? how dare you leave me with these annoying group of people. i hate you so much 😭
- allie
😂😂 sorry. i am not feeling well, i feel so tired.
- lia
get well soon 🍫 ... i still hate you

...

its 3 pm and im starting to regret not going to school. its so boring here!! i already watched tons of movies and now idk what to do.

should i go to the mall or should i sleep

alright, i dont wanna waste my time. i'll go the mall.

i took a quick shower.

(ootd photo attached)

idek what will i do there but i dont wanna be stuck here at home, i dont wanna waste my time just sleeping or just lying in bed i need to get out of this house, staying here alone is going to be the cause of my death.

...

i arrived at the mall and i want to buy every thing i see 😍
going here is really a good idea, this is my stress reliever.

i am not girly girl or something and i am not like the other girls who likes to shop every single day/week, yes i do shop a lot but not all the time.

i am so sure i'll waste a lot of money today..

...

i just got home and its 7 pm, i bought a lot of stuffs, and i really enjoyed this day.
i also ate my dinner there so i dont need to cook anymore.

i am just in my room fixing my closet when i heard the main door open.
finally!! my brother's home.

"allie!" i heard him shout.

i quickly ran downstairs and hugged him.

"how are you?" he asked

"im good, though i feel sick earlier so i didnt attend class today but i already went shopping so i feel better now" i said, slightly laughing.

he laughed.

"i'll go to vegas on saturday do you wanna come? because i honestly think you should cause i need to stay there for like a week and i cant leave you here for a week alone. plus, mom, dad & gem are gonna be there too" he said, with wide smile.

"no way!!" i said

"yes!"

i started jumping up & down.

"omg! yes, omg i really miss them!" i said

"alright, alright i want you to know that the Beck-" i cut him off

i dont even care what he's going to say!! i am so excited to see my family again! 💗💗

"i am so excited!! i gotta call lia!" i said before running back to my room.

...

i called lia.

i told her the good news and she's so excited for me.

i am so happy. though, i dont know who else are coming but i am really excited.

an: thank you so much for a vv nice feedbacks 😍 btw guys,
who do you think are coming? 😉 what do u want to
happen next? suggest ur opinions ☀️