letting go (b.beckham)

chapter twenty two

a l l i e

"mom, im freaking out. im so excited shit" i said, happily as we wait for the results. "allie, watch your mouth" mom said. i smiled as i unlocked my phone. i was shocked when i saw billion messages from my siblings.

"are the results there?"
'"is it a boy or a girl?"
"omg allie, why are you not answering????"
"please text back we're excited!"
...

oh my god. my siblings are crazy. lol.

and yes, we're waiting for the gender results. im 7 months pregnant, 2 more months and i'll be a mom. and im freaking excited. even though i'm young i'll do and try all my best to be the best mom. i love this baby so much.

"aaron and gemma are so crazy" i told my mom, she laughed. "i love to see you guys support each other" my mom said with a big smile on her face.

"Ms. Johnson?" the nurse said, looking for us.

"here!" my mom shouted "c'mon al, the results are here!" she said, excitedly.

all of a sudden... i felt so nervous, idk. "mom, wait! im so nervous" i said, stopping her. she laughed "c'mon" she said, pulling me inside the doctor's room.

we entered the room as we saw the doctor with a big smile on her face.

"take a sit" she said.

"soo..." she started, with a very very big smile on her face.
"congratulations, you're having a boy!!" she said

"here's your baby. he's very healthy and we're expecting him to be around in 2 months." she said, showing us the ultrasound picture of my baby boy.

omg wait.
IM HAVING A BOY!!!

i am so freaking happy!!!
i cant wait to take good care of my baby. i am just so happy!!!

...

we're home and i already told my siblings the news and they're so happy!!

i love seeing my family happy because of the baby. at first i was so scared to tell them because im scared of how they are going to react but look at them now. they are so supportive. i am so thankful i have my family with me.

its 6 pm and i already ate my dinner. i am just in my room, in my boring room. i dont know what to do. i already fixed the baby room and all the baby stuffs and i dont know what to do anymore. im so bored. im not sleepy. ugh okay idk. all the people in this house are so busy, i have no one to talk to. wth okay.

i am sitting on the floor while watching tv when all of a sudden someone texted me. i stood up to get my phone.

from: Brooklyn.
i'll be there in 20. do you want pizza or what?

oh thank god!! someone to talk to. yes!!!

to: Brooklyn.
ice cream will do. thanks :)

oh and by the way, its been more than a month since brooklyn apologized and since he told me that he still loves me and yeah, he never fails to make me feel important. everyday he comes to my house to bring foods or stuffs for the baby. he's trying so hard to win us back but i dont know if i should let him enter my life again. i mean, yeah he's the father of my baby and i know he'll be in my life because of the baby but be in a relationship with him again?? i dont really know. i can still feel the damn pain and i dont freaking know.

and i dont know sometimes im happy when he's around sometimes im annoyed. i really dont know. ugh i always dont know. lol.

and i havent told him about the gender cause i dont feel like texting him earlier cause maybe he doesnt care?? ugh whatever. sometimes i want to randomly call him to tell him that i felt the baby kick or something but i always remember the way he reacted when i told him im pregnant. i always think that "why should i tell him? he doesn even care" ugh. i should forget this shit cause it will not help me accept him again.