letting go (b.beckham)

chapter sixteen

b r o o k l y n

i woke up and found myself sleeping
next to allie, naked. shit, did we seriously
had sex? shit. i just broke up with my
girlfriend and then now i had sex with my
ex? im so fucked up.

i fucking dont know what to do with my life
anymore, everyone i love leaves me. fuck this
damn life, last night with allie was one of the
best nights of my life, this aint the first time
allie and i had sex but we were still together
when we did it the first time, but this time is
different. i just broke up with the girl i love
and i feel like i used allie shit. im a fuck boy.

i quickly stood up and got dressed. i dont want
allie to see me here with her when she wakes up
i dont want her to wake up beside a stupid fuckboy.

i immediately look for the keys that my mom obviously hid somewhere
i found it and i quickly ran back to my room and locked myself there.
fuck brooklyn, what the hell is wrong with you. you are fucked up.

i lay in bed and my thoughts about allie and holly suddenly came up.

i love holly so fucking much. she was there when
i was down, she was there when i needed someone,
she was there all the time. and even though she's
being so annoying all the time i love her and i dont
wanna loose her. i cant loose her, before i already
loose the girl i love and i dont want that to happen again.

and about allie? i dont know. i dont understand
myself. i know i love holly but the other part of
my heart and my brain is all about allie. i know
i still love allie but i also love holly. i dont know
what to do. every time i look at allie, i get this
crazy feeling. every time i see her smile makes
me smile. fuck my life.

i decided to sleep again cause i checked the time
and its 8 am its too early to wake up and start the
day and, my mom would probably kill me.

..
after 6 hours

i woke up because of the pain in my stomach
im so hungry but how am i going to go down
i know everyone's there including allie and thats
gonna be pretty awkward and i cant handle that.

but i cant also handle the hunger i feel.
fuck it. im gonna go down.

while i walk out of my room, i bumped into my mom.

"brooklyn!" she shouted but not that loud

"mom, okay im sorry" i said

i pleased her and explained to her what
happened to holly and i and thankfully
she understand me and told me everything's gonna be fine.

as i walk down the stairs i can see allie eating in the
kitchen, she looks upset and pissed and shes close
to tears i can see it and she's wearing a hoodie to
cover all her hickeys. im so annoyed with myself.
i think i even made her feel worst because i left her
this morning. i feel bad for leaving her earlier.

she turned her head around and saw me, we had a
2 seconds eye to eye contact then she looked away
she stood up from the table and placed her plates
together with the dirty dishes in the sink. she hates
me, she didnt even let me sit first before she leaves.

..

its 5 in the afternoon and im planning to go
to the park. i dont wanna stay at home cause
im gonna go crazy thinking about my life.

right after i opened my door, i saw allie looking
for her keys. i think she's going somewhere too.

"hey" i said

i cant just ignore her. im not that stupid
to ignore her. i mean, she might think i
am a bitch for ignoring her right after
sex. thats stupid.

she looked at me.

"did you saw my keys?" she asked

"uhh.. no" i said

"k." she said

she's about to leave the house
when i called her.

"allie, can we talk?" i said

"w..what?" she asked, kinda pissed.

..

we're walking around the village
its so fucking awkward. no one's
opening a conversation fuck i need
to man up and talk to her and say sorry
for what happened last night.

"hey, im sorry for what happened last night. i mean, i love holly and im stupid for doing that. i dont know i a-" she cut me off

"oh, no prob" she said

"are you sure?" i asked her.

im so confused. she acts like she doesnt care
and i know that she's hiding something.

"yeah, you dont have to worry about it. i promise, i wont tell holly." she said

"allie, thank you. i am actually trying to win her back and i would really appreciate if you dont tell her. thats all a mistake and i know we're out of our minds last night. im really sorry" i said.

"yeah, sure" she said

i smiled.

"i gotta go" she said then ran away.

.

i decided to call holly, fuck.
i hope she answers.

i dialed her number.
i waited for 2 minutes

thank god, she answered.

"babe, im sorry" she said

"baby, im sorry too. please can we meet?" i asked her.

"yes, im gonna go home now. i love you" she said

"i love you too baby"

an: short chapter doe. i know you all will hate me bc of this chapter 😂 anyway, as i said i have an unexpected twist for this book so just wait 💗