letting go (b.beckham)

chapter twenty six

allie's

thomas is turning one tomorrow and his birthday party is so ready and i am so excited for him.

i am finalizing everything when my phone started ringing.

its brooklyn..

i rolled my eyes because i know exactly what he will tell me. ugh.

"hey" i answered "allie, can i-" i cut him off. "brooklyn, i told you its your choice not mine." i said "but, i want to hear it from you, i want you to say yes before i call her and tell her" he said "you know brooklyn.. i dont really mind, its just.. people will start judging us again and i dont want them to say bad things to thomas just because his parents are s-" he cut me off. "i promise they wont. i'll make sure they wont" he said, waiting for me to officially say yes. i took a deep breathe. "yeah okay fine. sure. do whatever you want" i said with the i dont care voice. "thank you so much allie! i'll see you tomorrow" he said, happily.

its been months since he confirmed that he is dating this french model, sonia. and i havent met her. he usually bring thomas with her, they spend a lot of time together. i dont want to be selfish so i am letting him and besides, thats his son.

and you have no idea how much it hurts.

like, before brooklyn, thomas and i spend a lot of time together. going to parks, malls, watching tons of movies and more but now?? brooklyn and thomas still do that... but not with me anymore.

brooklyn doesnt even care about me anymore he only cares about thomas and i cant blame him. i mean, we arent even in a relationship so he is not supposed to care for me.

but it fucking hurts.

its just sad how one second he is trying so hard to win me back, he is doing his very best to make our broken family back into its perfect pieces then a few seconds later, he is in a new relationship with another girl.

i do love him.

so much.

but he is always breaking my heart and i have no idea why i am letting him to this to me over and over again.

thomas seemed so happy every time he spend time with brooklyn and sonia.

and tomorrow.. i am going to meet her.

..

"allie?" i heard gemma called me. "yeah why?" i asked. "do you still need help for tomorrow? i mean do you still have to finalize things, do you want me to help you?" she asked. "no, no thank you. i am almost done, dont worry" i said, smiling at her. "oh okay." she said, smiling at me. "where's aaron?" i asked her. "he is still in a shoot i think but he'll be there tomorrow" she said and i nodded. "anyway allie..." she started "yeah?" i said "uhhh.. i heard brooklyn's gonna bring his girlfriend tomorrow, do you think its a good idea?" she asked, obviously doesnt like idea. "yeah, i mean it doesnt matter" i said, lying. "are you sure it doesnt matter?" she said, looking at me with the dont lie to me face. "you know, thomas likes sonia.. obviously" i said, trying to twist the conversation. "allie, this is not about thomas. its about you." she said. "what about me?" i said, making her feel annoyed by giving her stupid, innocent answers. she rolled her eyes. "you know exactly what i am talking about allie" she said. "i am fine, no worries" i said, lying again.

she took a deep breathe. "allie, please dont do this to yourself. i know you are a nice person but you dont have to torture yourself. i know you love brooklyn and i may not exactly know what you feel but i know how much it hurts, i know how hard it is for you to see him and that little chance in your heart slowly fading away." she said, giving me so much feels in my heart. "i am fine, i swear" i said. "okay whatever. i'll sleep now, you should too" she said before leaving my room.