letting go (b.beckham)

chapter eighteen

a l l i e

"allie, i know its hard but you have to tell him," my mom said as she wiped my tears. "look, he is the father of that baby and he deserves to know."

i am back in london, for a while. its been 2 weeks since i found out that im pregnant, i already consulted a doctor and im 100% pregnant. i already told my parents and that was the scariest but the sweetest thing.

they got mad at first but they eventually accepted it. i can feel their love and support these past few days and im very thankful.

but today is the day that im going to tell brooklyn about this thing. i mean, my mom is right. he deserves to know but im very nervous, what if he'll get mad? what if he dont want the baby?

"i dont know how to tell him" isaid, sobbing. "allie, he needs to know." she said.

i nodded.

..

its 6:43 PM and im sitting here in starbucks waiting for brooklyn.

i finally decided to call and talk to him. even though i am not sure how will he react but who the hell cares. if he'll accept this baby then, great but if he doesnt want this baby then i'll raise this baby alone. i dont freakin' care anymore.

"hey al, sorry im late" i heard his voice from behind. "hi" i said.

he sat in font of me.

"have you ordered your coffee?" he asked. "no, no. i cant" i said, he gave me a confuse look "why? coffees are your favorites right?" he asked. "no, uh.. i mean, yeah i just dont feel like drinking one today. anyway, you can order your coffee if you want" i said, he smiled and stood up.

..

we're walking around the park. its just us an some other people, a 5 or 6 like that.

"why are you here btw?" he asked "just for vacation" i said "ohh" he said.

there's an awkward silence. how do i fucking break this silence. shit. how am i gonna tell him.

"brooklyn, do you you remember the night we had sex?"

there you have it.

i saw his face, he was so shocked with what i asked. "uh.. allie, about that im sorry, i didnt intentionally pla-" i cut him off "brooklyn, im pregnant" i said, my tears are starting to fall.

i am not looking at him cause i am scared of his reaction. "no! you cant be pregnant!" he said, slightly shouting. "but i am!" i shouted back "allie, we are 16! i dont want a baby!" he shouted again.

i cant believe he is saying this. this is not the brooklyn i know. before when we were still together, he used to tell me his plans about our future, how will he treat and love our kids. i know, he's right were still young but his reaction is so freaking unfair. and i know were not together anymore, i know he's dating someone else but im not asking him to be with me or something. im asking him to be a father to the baby.

"i cant be a father at 16! im not even sure if thats my baby i dont want the baby, i dont want your baby!" he shouted "i cant believe you're saying these things!" i slapped his face. "next time, you have sex with someone make sure not to get her pregnant cause her life gonna be miserable. dont worry, im not forcing to be a father to this baby. i will not let my baby have someone like you growing up." i said before walking away.

i can feel hundred, thousand tear drops falling while im walking my way home. i just cant believe it. i am so stupid.

why do i have to be so fucking stupid when it comes to him. why am i like this?! he is not even worth a single tear.

..

i entered our house with a swollen eyes. "hey," my mom said "are you okay?" i sat beside her and started sobbing. "mom, he doesnt want the baby. he doesnt even believe that this is his baby" i said

my mom hugged me so tight. "dont worry allie, its fine. we can raise that baby without him, its fine allie, you're gonna be fine" she said, reassuring me. i nodded and hugged her and cried on her chest.

"i'll tell victoria about it" she said, "no mom please no" i said "but she needs to know, her son is the father of that baby" i dont even know if they should know. "but mo-" she cuts me off "okay, but im pretty sure this is gonna be the reason why our friendship's gonna be over" she said. "who cares! his stupid son is the reason wh-" my sister said but mom stopped her. "stop it, dont stress your selves. i know this is a big challenge for us but not a problem okay? the baby is definitely unexpected but not unwanted. so just calm down, we can do this" she said.

i have the best family. i dont know what will i do without them.

an: hey guys, hope you like it! comment your thoughts and suggest an idea please 💗