letting go (b.beckham)

chapter twenty four

so guuuys, since i updated billion weeks ago lets fastforward 😂

a l l i e

"merry christmas too, mom... yes mom i know, yes. we are doing so well. yes mom, we miss you too! tell dad, i said hi. yes mom, okay. bye!"

its christmas and i just finished my phone call with my mom. ugh, this is the first christmas day i am going to celebrate without my parents.

gemma, aaron, thomas and i are in atlanta for the holidays and i've never been this happy. i am so glad i have these people with me. though, it'll be happier if my parents are here but they cant come cause of their work.

yeah, its holiday but you know.. when you work on holidays you get extra cash and my parents chose to work on holidays lol well thats also for us.

"thomas look at that, its so nice!" gemma told thomas while pointing at a colorful house or building i dont really know what it is. thomas looked so amazed with it and he looks so cute!!

and yes, thomas is almost one and he is the most perfect gift i've ever received.
i never imagined my life would be this perfect. well no not perfect but i am happy, very happy.

..

we're finally back to our hotel after a long tiring, fun, christmas day and thomas is still full of energy. lol i dont know where he gets that energy. though i know he is already tired but he's still active like crazy.

i know he got that from his dad.

speaking of his "dad"

brooklyn hasnt called yet, ugh. what happened to this guy. usually, every morning he'll facetime us but today he didn't. its christmas and he didnt even called us. ugh. he always call us since we're not together and he doesnt always see thomas but today, he didnt. ughh.

since the day i gave birth brooklyn is always there, he helps me with everything, he is really trying his best to prove me that he changed, that he can change for us and i am more that proud. but i dont know, i really dont know what to do. i am so confused, cause i hear stupid news about him seeing this model but i never asked him cause i dont want to look like a stalker.

he was actually supposed to come with us here in atlanta but he signed a modeling shoot at the day of our flight he told us he'll follow but a lot of agencies offered him to do a quick christmas shoot for their brands and ofcourse he accepted and i really dont mind cause he's just being practical, we know we need that, our baby needs that.

..

well its 10 pm and im still waiting for his call.

like ugh, its christmas day!!! at least greet your baby. ugh

well thomas is lying here beside me and gemma while watching cartoons, and he is the most adorable baby ever.

his brown eyes, his brunette hair, his lips!! ughh i am so in love with him.

well ofcourse i took tons of photos of him earlier so i edited it and posted it on my instagram. i have a private instagram for my family and some close friends only, i post there everything. i also have a public instagram but i limit my posts there.

"you can sleep now if you want, i know you're tired" gemma said "but.." she cuts me off "i'll take care of thomas" she said with that reassuring smile that she'll take care of my baby. "no, im fine. i'll just let you know if i cant handle my sleepy head anymore" i said, smiling. "k, whatever" she said, rolling her eyes. i laughed.

...

(WARNING: A LOT OF CURSING) 😂
i woke up because my stupid phone ringing at 2 fucking am.

you know when all you wanna do is sleep but then suddenly a freaking sound will wake you up like a fucking shit and then all you wanna do is throw that stupid thing that woke you up. ugh fuck it. thank god it didnt woke my baby who is sleeping next to me. ugh i swear if that sound woke thomas up id probaby be more than mad right now cause my baby is peacefully sleeping and i cant let a stupid m*fckng annoying ringtone wake him up..

but ohh.... thats my ringtone

i opened my phone to check what the hell is going on and found tons of missed calls and messages from brooklyn.

"morning baby, sorry i wasnt able to greet you merry christmas i was sleeping all day and i just woke up. its actually 2 pm here and i slept straight. i know its so late there but i wanna talk to youuu please wake up"

"baby, hows thomas? i cant wait to see the both of you soon"

"when you wake up please call me, i miss you so much"

"i miss you baby girl, please go back here soon baby please. i miss you and thomas. please call me when you wake up okay? i love you"

and all of a sudden... my super annoyed feeling changed. ugh, he always know how to make me feel better!!!!!

he is always the reason why i feel so mad yet he is also the reason why i feel so happy. ugh, should i give him a chance? i mean, yes, he texts me like were together but we arent. we arent official yet. should i give him a chance? should i ask him about this
model thats bothering me? ugh what should i do. i dont want to loose him again.

an: ugh hey guysss sorry for a crappy chapter!! i'll make it better i promise ❤️❤️❤️❤️