letting go (b.beckham)

chapter twenty three

a l l i e

"do we need these?" brooklyn asked, showing me some baby stuffs. "no, brooklyn we dont" i said "how about this?" he said, showing me a cute baby shoe "brooklyn, we already have that." i said, trying to stop my self from laughing. "this one? i kno-" i cut him off. "brook, we came here to buy nothing and you know that" i said, giggling. "but i know we nee" i cut him off again by pulling him outside of the store. "c'mon lets just go home" i said, slightly laughing.

we're walking around this private, peaceful mall. brooklyn asked me if i want to look for some baby stuffs and i agreed. we also agreed that we will not buy anything cause we already have everything for the baby but brooklyn being brooklyn ofcourse, every time he sees a cute baby thing he always ask me if we need it. i dont want him to buy something that we already have so i pulled him out of the store.

but btw, he's cute doing that.

"do you wanna eat?" he asked me, while walking around the mall looking only at his phone.

wth, stop using your phone. you are walking, look at your directions. ugh.

i rolled my eyes "yeah, im actually hungry" i said.

oh well, im 8 months pregnant and lately i am always hungry. always.

while waiting for our order, i kept on trying to make a conversation but he's so annoying. he's just playing this stupid video game while texting some of his friends. ugh like can you please pay attention? you asked me out and you're not even talking to me.

"brooklyn, you know what? im so done. i'll just go home, i'll take a cab and you invite your friends here to eat with you because i am so freaking done" i said, grabbing my things before standing up "wait what no!" he said, stopping me. "please no" he said "okay, here. here's my phone. im sorry. this game is so addicting, im sorry i promise i'll pay attention" he said, giving me his phone. i rolled my eyes and took a sit.

well thank god, he's now talking to me. he told me a lot of stories about his family and how they are doing lately, i did the same. he also told me that holly's trying so hard to win him back. its just cute that he's telling me everything, that he's being honest and not keeping anything from me. even though he knows that i might get mad its nice that he tells me everything. i am starting to fall in love with this guy again

"umm brook?" i said. "yes baby?" he said "about the baby and all the people around us..." i said, looking straight in to his eyes cause i dont know if he'll get mad, offended or what "and??" he said, looking confused. "i dont want the public to know about the baby... i dont mean to offend you cause i know how hard it is to be the son of your parents but i dont want the baby to grow up like how you grew up i mean, every single one knows you and its hard and i dont want the baby to experience that. i hope you understand cause you know the struggle an-" he cut me off "dont worry, i do understand you. i also dont want the public people to know about our baby cause i know that some of them are just gonna judge and say rude things." he said, smiling at me.

i know its kinda selfish but i know this is the best for the baby. i want him to grow up with a normal life. i want him to experience all the normal things, normal kids do. and i also know that sooner or later, the public people will know about the baby its just.. i dont want them to know it right now. okay im really weird but whatever.

thank god, brooklyn understands me. i am glad i have him, beside me right now.

..

we are finally back in my room. thank god im home!! i just want to lay in bed and sleep and cuddle with my pillows ugh.

brooklyn's lying beside me, watching the tv while i cuddle with my pillows. oh how fuck, i wanna grab him and hug him and cuddle all night long but i cant. ugh. does he also feel the same freaking thing ugh.

"baby?" he whispered "yeah what?" i said "what do you wanna name the baby?" he asked. oh yeah shit the name. "i dont even know, im so bad in giving names. and um... besides, its a boy so i'll let you decide" i said, he smiled. "are you serious?" he asked, happily. "yeahh but please choose something formal" i said. "i actually want to name him Thomas or Christian" he said, i giggled because he's so cute. "just choose the two i mean, if you want the two you can name him Thomas Christian Beckham" i said, after closing my eyes cause im sleepy. "no, i dont want to give the baby a second name. maybe i'll choose Thomas? what do you think?" he asked "yeah, Thomas is nice" i said, with a lazy voice "okay so i guess, its Thomas!" he said, happily. i smiled and nodded. i cant speak anymore cause im so sleepy

"baby, i'll go home now. take a rest okay?" he said, before kissing my forehead. i nodded. cause i am really really sleepy. i can feel him standing up and it slightly broke my heart. i want him to stay. i can hear him grab his things. i opened my eyes and took a sit. "brook, can you sleep here please?" i said, looking at his beautiful brown eyes. he smiled at me and nodded. "sure baby" he said.

he jumped beside me and im so happy he's here with me. i wanna freaking hug him. i want to cuddle, i want sleep in his chest, i want him, i want him so bad.

he moved closed to me and kissed my forehead. i know, he wants to cuddle too. i smiled at him. i freaking wanna kiss him but i dont want him to think that he can get me again easily. ugh no okay, allie stop.

he grabbed my hands and squeezed it. "good night brooklyn" i said. "good night baby girl" he said, before kissing my hands.

his soft fucking lips. ugh i miss that lips, i miss that lips in my lips. fuck.

an: hi guys ugh i know this is a crappy and a short chapter but i really hope you like it. and yeah the name of the baby is "Thomas" and yeah, i got it from your suggestions. i will give credits to the people who suggested the name Thomas in the next chapter! and i will also updated the imagine book maybe later so please read it. thank you! :)