letting go (b.beckham)

chapter twenty

a l l i e

(please read the author's note at the end of the story)

"i dont know, should i?" i asked my mom. "allie, its your choice not mine or not anyone else." she said "but mom, i dont know if i should talk to him. i dont know if i should forgive him." i said, while looking at the message that was sent this morning. "do what's best for you and the baby." she said, smiling at me "i know you're smart allie, you know what to do, you're just confused because of what happened when you told him you're pregnant. but look, he wants to talk to you. maybe he wants to apologize and talk about the baby." she said.

i dont even know what's up with brooklyn. i mean, the last time we talked he was so mad and shit and now he wants to talk? & romeo told me how he's been acting lately with his family. romeo said that he doesnt really care about the baby at all and he still believes that this is not his baby and now he wants to talk like what the fuck dude.

right now, i am in italy so i cant meet him. im here because of my sister. she's planning to migrate here and she's looking for a house and she asked me if i want to stay here with the baby and i really think its a great idea. but anyway, we're just here right now because we're looking for a new house in 2 days we're going to go back to london and deal with the same old shits again.

and yes, my mom told victoria about the pregnancy because my mom said they deserve to know and i agree so she told them. and at first they were shocked when i told them brooklyn's reaction. they apologized, and they promised me that they will not leave me and they will help me.

..

"um, allie when will we know the gender?" my sister asked, while taking a bite of her steak. "i already have an ultrasound appointment and very very soon" i said, smiling.

im so excited to know the gender of my baby. i really want a girl so i can dress her up like a princess everyday and play barbies with her and play with her a lot of girly stuffs but i also want a boy, so i can make him the "sporty one" ill let him learn a lot of sports and i really want to learn new things but i know girl or boy ill learn a lot of new things.

"omg im so excited!" gemma shouted, i laughed. "me too!" my mom said, i laughed at them and started eating my food again.

we talked different kind of stuffs when all of a sudden mom brought it up again. ugh

"so allie, did you answered him already?" she asked "answer who?" my sister instantly asked back "brooklyn.. he sent a message this morning he apologized and told me if we can meet up and talk about the baby" i said, looking at the floor. ugh. "so have you decided?" my mom asked "mom! she doesnt need that douche, she doesnt eve-" i cut her off "yeah. i 'll talk to him" i said "what?!" gemma shouted "this is not about us or whoever this is all about the baby" i said "okay whatever. but when will you meet him?" she asked. "i havent even answered his message but i'll meet him as soon as we're back in london" i told her.

..

we're finally back in the hotel from that crazy, annoying dinner.

should i text him now? ughh

i decided to read the message again.

"Allie, i know you hate me, i know you dont want to see me but i want to talk to you and apologize personally. i know my reactions was unacceptable but i really want to fix our personal problems for the baby. i dont want the baby to grow up without a daddy. please let me be a father to our baby. lets talk please."

i honestly think that he's a complete asshole and he doesnt need to be a father to my baby but ugh my baby needs a dad. even though i grew up with a complete family i know how hard it is to grow up without a mom or a dad or whatever. and i dont want my baby to experience that.

"yeah sure, lets talk. we'll be back in london in 2 days i think and lets talk as soon as we're home" i texted him.

i decided to clean my stuffs like my clothes and everything and after cleaning i'll take a bath. gaahhh i am so stressed, i have billion problems but i need to be strong for my baby and i should really stop stressing myself because this is not good for my baby.

after doing all the things i have to do, i decided to just relax and lay in bed while watching my favorite show,  full house with a popcorn beside me.

while watching, my phone rang, i checked and its a text from brooklyn.

"wait what? you're not in london?" he asked
"im in italy" i replied
"but what are you doing there? isnt it bad to travel while you're 5 months pregnant? does the airlines allow you?" he asked

wow, he seemed so concern. lol at this dude, the last time he was so careless and selfish and now he's acting like he cares. lol alright.

"we're looking for houses and yeah, they do allow me" i texted him back
"looking for houses? but why? and its late you should sleep, its late" he said
"yeah, i really should sleep. bye." i said
"wait answer my question first why are you looking for houses?" he asked again.

i dont really feel like talking to him right now cause i still feel the pain that i felt when i saw his reaction when i told him im pregnant ugh fuck. i just want to talk to him personally and clear things and talk. ugh.

i continued watching cause its almost the end and i am not yet sleepy.

..

after 15 minutes i can feel my eyes getting tired so i closed the tv. i stood up to get a water when all of a sudden my phone rang again.

"good night all, i know you hate me but i just wanna say that i really want to make it up to you and the baby. the baby isnt here yet but i know that we're gonna have a beautiful baby and i thank you for giving me a beautiful baby. i really hope we can be friends for that baby. take care always, i cant wait to see you."

ugh this dude. idek what i feel, do i hate him or do i still love him shit.

an: so hey guys, i have an idea for a new book and i really really want to do it. but dont worry, im not gonna stop updating this book. what do you guys think? and please comment your suggestions for this book and your thoughts ☺️ dont forget to vote xx