madness and ecstasy // leo valdez

-guards! clothe him!-

I don't think I spelt clothe right but im shaking crying throwing up none of the other ways look right someone put me out of my misery 

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The others were already serving up a feast in the mess hall when they came in.

Once upon a time, Leo would have worried about all of them being together belowdecks with nobody at the helm, but ever since Piper had permanently woken up Festus's figurehead with her charm speak before she was whisked off to that island, the dragon figurehead had been more than capable of running the Argo II by himself.

Festus could navigate, check the radar, make a honey ruby grapefruit cold brew, and spew white-hot jets of fire at invaders - simultaneously - without even blowing a circuit. It was one of the things that'd given him enough confidence to think his favourite machine [in the whole wide world] could do more.

Besides, they had Buford the Wonder Table as backup.

Leo had decided that his three-legged table could do just as good a job as their loud chaperone. He had replicated some of the wiring in Annabeth's prosthetic fingers and managed to make Buford project a pint-sized holographic simulation of Coach Hedge.

Mini-Hedge would stomp around on Buford's top, randomly saying things like 'CUT THAT OUT!' and 'I'M GONNA KILL YOU!' and the ever-popular 'PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!'

Leo thought it was hilarious. No one else seemed to, but they didn't know where the off switch was, so he stayed.

"You're drowning them!" Annabeth complained, frowning at the sheer amount of syrup her boyfriend was pouring on his stack of blue pancakes.

"I can't drown. And neither can my pancakes," Percy said.

Annabeth side eyed him and went back to helping Frank and Hazel use cereal bowls to flatten out a big coffee stained map of Greece. They were circling places with pencils and using monopoly pieces to represent everyone.

He hoped he was the battleship, but Frank was moving them around, so he figured he was probably the thimble.

Piper peeked out of the kitchen, a massive knife in her hand. "Do you guys want some fruit sal-"

"Are those brownies?" Leo asked, spotting a plate of them on the table. He peeled his jacket off. It was warm in here. Plus, if he left it laying around Teqi might steal it and think she was super sneaky and clever.

"Yes please," Teqi said to Piper, and followed her.

Percy looked up from his soggy pancakes with a grin. "Yeah, Frank got the sea-salt recipe from the Aphros at the bottom of the Atlantic."

'PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!' Buford's Mini-Hedge yelled over the speakers. The intercom crackled.

Everyone jumped. Annabeth ended up five feet away from Percy, who'd spilled syrup in his orange juice. Frank turned into a bulldog. Leo put his jacket back on, reluctantly, and took a brownie from the centre of the table.

Annabeth eyed him. "I thought you were getting rid of that hologram."

"Hey, he's just saying good morning. Besides, we all miss the coach," Leo said, wiping crumbs off his lips. He winked at Frank. "And Frank makes a cute bulldog."

Frank morphed back into himself, red in the face. "Just sit down, Leo. We've got stuff to talk about."

Leo squeezed in beside Hazel. He figured she was the least likely to smack him if he was annoying. He took another bite of his brownie. It was good, but it would never be a good as chocolate pudding.