Pahina — Cup of Joe
•••
It was a journey into the unknown, a place where grief, sadness, and fear seemed to be the only landmarks. I felt lost in the dim light, yet I pressed on, searching for something, anything, to guide me.
Sobrang bigat.
Carrying the difficulty of adjusting my life to how it used to be. It’s actually hard to move forward knowing that I left someone hurt without uttering a word for clarification.
Totoo nga. Nasa huli ang pagsisisi.
I’ve been in the middle of regretting everything—the things I’ve done. Masaya naman kami, eh. Masaya kami sa isa’t isa.
Pero kung nakasalalay rito ang pangarap ng tao, hindi ako mag-aatubiling maging irasyonal, at piliin ang solusyong naiisip ko, sa kabila ng hapding dala nun.
Wala sa isip ko na darating kami sa puntong ‘to. All of the things that happened that night were still clear as fresh water in me. Lahat tanda ko. And everytime these memories rush back at me, it make feel bad. So bad.
I was caged from things I had to sacrifice to save him and his dreams.
Mabigat sa damdamin.
I remember how many weeks he had tried reaching me out, creating different accounts. I had to change my contacts so that he will not be able to reach me yet he still finds his ways. I blocked him, I deleted my social media accounts that are connected to him. I changed everything in order to stop him.
Until it looks like he got tired doing those and suddenly, those messages and calls disappeared.
It’s been months.
Mag-isa na lang din ako ngayong naninirahan sa dorm ko.
The night I went back to Manila, wala na akong nadatnan kundi ang saradong bahay at mga gamit kong ipinasuyo sa kapitbahay.
My tito and his wife separated, her wife cheated on him. Balak sana akong isama ni tito sa Laguna kaso nandito sa Manila ang pangarap ko. And so he helped me sign up for a dormitory in our university. They’re offering dormitory rooms for their students. Luckily, I had secured one.
Wala na rin akong balita kay Zane. I stopped being active on social media. Nag-delete na rin ako ng social media, had to change my account para may magamit ako for studying, pero I let it be deactivated so that no one will be able to reach me whenever they try to.
I also had to look for another job that will support my studies, which was heavy on my part as I need to juggle study and work
“Magpahinga ka, ha?” Saad ni Riza nang matapos ang klase namin at papunta na ako sa meeting kasama ang iba kong ka-block para sa project namin.
“Oo, mag-ingat kayo!” Saad ko rito. Papunta rin ito sa ka-group niya dahil nagkahiwa-hiwalay kaming tatlo. Nauna na rin si Rio at kailangan pa nilang maghanap ng mga iinterviewhin nilang street vendors.
Ever since I had a breakup, Rio and Riza stayed with me all throughout the time. Mula nung nasa kalugmuk-lugmok ako sitwasyon hanggang sa makausad ako nang kaunti. Still, they are unaware that Zane was my ex, since kilala na nila ito bilang artista.
Naalala ko tuloy ulit kung paano ako nawalan ng pag-asa na makausad nung mga unang buwan ko matapos ang sitwasyong nangyari. I spent the entire vacation staying inside my dorm, not able to socialize, and even hindered myself from letting my stress fade.
I isolated myself which was the reason why I wasn’t able to join Rio and Riza’s plans. But these two… they never let me feel being outcast in our friendship. They indeed find a way to be with me. Noong panahong ayokong lumabas at gusto kong manatili sa loob ng kwarto ko, mas plinano na nilang ubusin ang bakasyon sa dorm ko, they didn’t leave me on my miserable phase of life and even help me slowly go out of it.
YOU ARE READING
Rainbow Behind Stars
Novela Juvenil[BL STORY] | Ongoing They met when they were in junior high school, where friendships sparked. Their bond was undoubtedly one of the strongest, but not until a reason blew up for Keith Elthon to leave their province, his friends, and Zane. It was go...
