If only it was FOREVER | ✓

Chapter 31

"We walk away to see who will follow,
We hide because we want to be found,
We cry to see who will wipe away our tears,

And we let our hearts get broken to see who will come and fix them.

                                                                                                                          ~ Unknown

 "JAMES!"

"What is it Ash?! Are you okay sweetie? Did you see a bad dream?" Cara immediately asked.

BAD DREAM? It was one of the worst dreams! The dream in which James or Cara or Jay are not with me, are the worst of all. And I had seen something like that at the moment. I was all sweating and shivering at the same time.

"Ash, baby what is it? What happened dear?"

"Cara! Where is James? Has he come back? Call him! I want him to be my side, right now!"

"Ash, he hasn't come back still. But he had messaged you that he'll be back soon and asked you not to worry. Don't think much."

"But..."

"It's okay Ash. You need some sleep dear. He is alright."

She tucked me in, switched off the night lamps and lied down beside me.

"Cara?"

"Yes Ash."

"Did you sleep even for once?"

"No Ash. I couldn't. I was talking to Jay at first and then I had some work to do. Goodnight love."

The next morning, when I woke up, my vision was quite blurred. I rubbed my eyes but everything was still the same. I tried getting up on my own but I couldn't. And my head? My head was the worst of all. 

"Good morning sweetie! Up so early? How do you feel?"

"Hey Cara. Shouldn't I be asking you that question? What are you doing so early? And oh my god. You have made something for me it seems."

"Well well. See that is the kind of effect you have on me. Your illness made me do this. Do you get it how much I love you?"

"Of course I do baby. Thank you so much but I could have...."

"Don't. Please don't say that you could have done this all by yourself. You are not suppose to leave this bed apart from using the washroom."

"Yes ma'am." We both laughed.

Just then I remembered about James.

"Cara?"

"No. He hasn't come back yet and I am sorry but he won't be here for another one week."

What? One week?!

"Wh...what are you saying Cara?"

She handed over me a note which was written by James.

Dear Ash,

  I am sorry that I am leaving you when you need me the most. I can't tell you how bad I feel about this. But I had to. My mother is not well or rather you can say that she doesn't has much time left to spend with me and my dad. Yes. You got it right. She is suffering from cancer, lung cancer. I know you must be surprised to know about this as I never mentioned to you.But know what the funny part is? She herself came to know about this a week back. And now it's too late that I can't save her. 

  I'll be with you in a few days, I guess. I am here in Washington for my mother's treatments and stuff. Even when you know there is nothing that can change the situation, you don't stop trying, do you? Well, at least I won't. I won't ever stop trying to give my loved ones a life, a chance which they deserve. I'll do everything I can to protect her, to save her. 

  I am glad that Cara is there with you. It is only because of her that I can be a bit relaxed. 

Please take care love. I'll be back soon. Don't do anything like what you did this time, ever again. 

Okay?

James Taylor

The first thing that happened after I read this letter was that tears started flowing out of my eyes. I couldn't understand for a while what I had just read. Cancer? James' mom was suffering from cancer?Oh god! Could you be a bit more cruel? 

"Ash, please don't cry sweetheart. I know it's so painful but then think about James. He must be feeling so bad. If he comes to know that you were upset because of all this then he will again blame himself for all this. Please don't cry." 

She  hugged me. I tried not to but I couldn't help myself. I felt so bad for James. I wanted to be with him but I couldn't. Moreover, I had no role in lessening his burden. Rather I had troubled him even more. I should have listened to him earlier. 

****

"Ash? Open your eyes dear. It's time for some breakfast."

I had slept I guess. When I opened my eyes, I realized that my head was resting on Cara's lap. I wonder for how long I had been doing this. Slowly, I got up. Soon after she left the room to bring me my breakfast. 

I was looking out the window when all of a sudden my phone rang.

"Hello?"

"Princess?"

"James! Oh god! How are you dear? How is you mom?"

"Free."

"What?"

"She is free now."

"Free from what?"

"Free from her problems, Ash. She is no longer alive."

She is no longer alive. She is no longer alive. She is no longer alive.

I couldn't believe at first. I wanted to cry out loud but just then I heard James sobbing over the phone.

"James? Baby, please don't cry. I know the pain is unbearable but hold on to yourself sweetie."

"Ash, how can I not cry? I feel so terrible. My mom just left me. The last thing she said was that I am proud of you son. Take good care of Ashley. How can she be proud of me? I haven't done anything for her till now. In a few months, when I would have been out of the college and could have done something for her, she left me. Moreover, I can't even take care of you properly. I feel so bad Ash. I really do." He was crying out even louder than before. 

24 hours and so much had happened with James. Firstly my accident and then the loss of his mother. Who says nothing can happen in a day? Even a minute is enough to turn your life upside down.

"James, come back soon dear. I am so worried about you. Please try and be okay dear. Things will...." I stopped. How would things be better? They can't be.

"Ash, just take care of yourself. I'll be there soon. Bye" and he hung up the phone. 

I really didn't know what to do. I had never felt so helpless. 

"Ash? Are you okay?"

"She is dead. James' mom is no longer alive."

I didn't want to cry but that was the only thing I could do. Cara kept the plates aside and engulfed me in her arms. I hold on to her tight and cried my soul out. 

Couldn't life be a bit better for all of us? Couldn't things be perfect? Don't all those people who do so much for others deserve a bit more happiness? Perhaps not. Perhaps the rule is the more good you do, the more you have to suffer. 

So how was it? Feel free to tell me. :) thank you for reading.