All Or Nothing

Paranoid

•CYRUS POV•

I can't believe I told Ronnie I liked her earlier this morning.. It was supposed to come out as a tease but she looked so happy and I didn't want to ruin the moment.. I glance over at her watching as she typed on her phone, I wonder if she's texting Jordan. My eyes moved up towards her neck, tracing over the few marks I left on her.. I smirked—still it gives me Joy seeing my signature on her skin. I couldn't sleep last night I was too busy watching as she laid peacefully in my arms.. she told me she sleep great, which is good but my arms are sore but it was worth it I guess.

I make a turn and pull into her apartment complex, the car ride was pretty silent minus the music that played quietly we didn't really say much to one another, but it also wasn't awkward in fact it was quite comfortable which is good because I hate forced conversations and this ride allowed me to gather my thoughts and I realized I was having a battle with my mind and my heart— I shake the thoughts away as I pull up to her place and wait for her to gather her things.

"What are you doing later?" She asked cheerfully, I shrug "Same shit as always.." I say being honest "Well after you get done come over, I'll grab a bottle and we can watch a movie.. plus I'll need another ounce later" she said and I wanted laugh not at what she said but at how endearing she looked still in yesterdays outfit "We'll see" I say simply wanting to seeing her reaction and to my surprise she just gives me a smile with delight in her eyes "Okay, be safe" she said as she got out the car, I felt my heart race and my palms became sweaty— I watch as she walked around my car and up the stairs quickly.

***

"Yeah I hit you up last night, was you sleep?" My uncles friend asked and I shook my head slowly yes even though I wasn't "Okay well t-that's alright, I'm get going now Russ.. I hit you up soon" he says turning away from me and walking back towards his car. I text my next trap that I was a minutes away and will be there soon and shut my phone off. I pull off, all day I've been thinking about Ronnie and how I pretty much confessed to her.. I hope she doesn't go running her mouth to Mira this time, Mira might be slow looking but she can easily put two and two together if she wanted— giving the last time she caught me in Ronnie's clothes.. can't have that again.

I've thought about it as I showered, ate, and drove around giving these folks their drugs. I mean was I really sure I even liked Ronnie? What if it's the kisses.. but that doesn't explain the heart racing and stomach tingling when I'm around her and that started long before the kissing.. or what if I just like her presence?! Ugh I don't know.. maybe I'll just go with the flow for now.. I mean all we're doing is hanging out and kissing occasionally, what else is there to do.. Not like I'm sleeping with that girl so I hope she never gets that idea!! I mean yeah she really attractive and does look like she has a nice body giving I seen her— Fuck Cyrus what is going on with you! I haven't been like this since my first girlfriend..

I sigh loudly .. fuck I really do like her, but why am I having such a hard time accepting it! I rub my temple turning my music down as I pull up behind a black Nisan and text her I was outside. I grab my bag and pull out the ounce she needed. I watch as the front door opens up and she comes outside in a black Bonnie and a big oversized hoodie. She walks up to my car and I roll my window down and she quickly grabs the bag weed and stuffs it inside her pocket "I'll cash app you" she says and I noc my head before pulling off, she's been buying weed off me since high school and I never got her name.

***

      I sat quietly while Ty and the others chatted about where we need to expand our product, I've been making a lot more money especially since moved our business here in north. "Bro but I'm telling you, if we move that close towards the middle it's gonna cause more issues, we don't have enough people to put on every block that's ghosts territory I say we wait.." Ty argued and Khalil sighed "Broo, it's not about the people, it's about the product and making this money, we don't have enough people in north but we still need to and let her know what the fuck we on folks.." Khalil says passing the blunt to Ty.

They both made a good points about everything.. if we expand like Khalil said I'd be pushing up on more money and better opportunities, but if I listen to Ty and wait it out that's not a bad idea given we just took down a few of ghosts men they're gonna be on top of shit and I don't have time to put FBA on frontline, that's gonna be an all out war and I'm not sure if I'm ready for that right now. I felt my phone buzz in my hands, I open my messages seeing it was Shyne asking what I was doing, damn I forgot I had her number. I texted her back and exited her message, I looked at my messages seeing Ronnie texted me 15 minutes ago.

She sent me a picture of a big ass Don Julio bottle.. why'd she get the big one it's only the two of us! And I don't know what it is about Don but I can't fuck with it.. it makes me black out. I go to text her a laughing emoji and get interrupted— "Cyrus what do you think?" Khalil asked and I quickly glanced towards him "I like what Ty said let's wait.. for now at least, just keep trapping on those four blocks" I say starring at the both of them and they immediately nod. "I will have your next payment soon" Khalil says walking away. "Thanks" Ty says and I gave him a small fake smile."What you about to do? Wanna go to the strip tonight?" He asked "Don't threaten me with a good time, nah folks I got plans tonight" I said adjusting the straps on my book bag.

"Damn you never around gang what you be on?" he ask holding his hand out towards me, with a eyebrow raised. Is that what it looks like? Who else is thinking that.. I started to feel a little paranoid— "You good?" Ty asked walking closer towards me and I glanced towards him "Why you walking up on me" I grunt looking him in the eyes now "Just making sure you good.. you looked weird for a second" he said and I slowly eased up "... I'm fine, I'll talk to you later" I say "Alright be safe" he replied in a low tone concern feeling his voice. I swiftly head at him and walk towards my car— don't get yourself worked up over nothing, they don't even know Ronnie.. yes some of them met her but they don't know who I be with everyday...