Hetalia x Reader Oneshots!

Prussia x Reader x Gilbird

This may or may not be a crack fanfiction :00

I don't even know what to name this so I'll just keep it as Prussia x Reader x Gilbird...

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You sat in the pub with Arthur, Mathias and Gilbert, they kept on ordering beer and other alcoholic drinks nonstop... You could've sworn that Gilbert ordered his bird, Gilbird a margarita (on the rocks).

You, on the other hand, decided to sit out on drinking and just made sure the soon-to-be drunks didn't hurt themselves. Adda girl!

You sat next to Gilbert, Gilbird sat on his shoulder. Both of their cheeks started to to flush a rosy pink. You didn't understand how Gilbird's did though... "*hic* hey babe." He winked. Copying his actions, Gilbird winked as well.

You slowly scooted away from the two, "Uhhhh, hi?"

"I TOOK 18 SHITS IN AN HOUR." Mathias randomly screamed. That was really... Strange. But he was probably drunk by now so why did it matter?

"MEIN GOTT, *hic* I DID TOO." Gilbert screamed back.

"Wow, you must've had really bad diarrhea to do it that much." You muttered, rolling your eyes.

"I KNOW. IT HAPPENS *hic* EVERYDAY."

Suddenly, you were stopped by the bartender. "Are they... All right?" He whispered, looking at you concerned.

"You're a bartender right? Haven't you seen worse?"

"Well um... Yes."

"Then don't worry about them." You assured the bartender.

As the time went by, the three of them had gotten more and more drunk... Arthur was now unconscious, resting his head on the table, whilst Mathias was babbling about random stuff only drunks would say.

You were done, you couldn't handle this anymore. You were calling Lukas and Alfred.

First you called Lukas, who quickly answered the phone.

"Hello-Oh, hello (f/n)... I'm on it," Lukas sighed, taking with monotone. He already figured that you wanted him to come by and pick Mathias up.

After Lukas hung up, you called Alfred, he took a bit longer to answer the phone.

"Hello, Alfred?" You asked, as you heard him pick up.

"It's really late dudette. Why are you calling me this late at night? It's not really a problem though." He replied to you.

"Well uh, your boyfriend is passed out on the bar... Come pick him up."

"Again? Okay. At least the dude can party. I'm on my way."

"K bye," you quickly said before hanging up the phone.

•••

After Lukas and Alfred came to pick up Mathias and Arthur, you were alone with Gilbert. Oh, goodness...

"GUESS HOW AWESOME I AM (F/N)?!" Prussia screamed at you.

"I can only imagine..." You rolled your eyes.

Out of a sudden Gilbert groped you.

"Ow! That was my boob!" You snapped.

Gilbert tilted his head to the side, confused. "Your tit?"

"Yes." You nod.

"I like tits." Gilbert smiled dreamily.

"That's cool... I guess?"

Gilbert laughed loudly then whispered, "I *hic* know."

"Gilbert what the f-" you were cut off by his lips smashed up to yours. You felt your cheeks burn up as he did this.

His lips tasted nasty, because of the alcohol, you didn't let it bother you though. You melted into the kiss, soon pulling away for air.

As you slowly pulled away, you looked deep into his Red-violet eyes. It was sad that he wouldn't remember the kiss when he's sober, but you decided to enjoy the moment whilst it lasted.

Gilbird flew onto your shoulder and leaned in, and pecked your cheek with his beak.

It didn't really hurt, it tickled actually. You giggling, smiling at him.

"Aw shucks Gilbird..."

He chirped flying onto Gilbert's shoulder again. After that, Gilbird passed out.

"Babe, wanna *hic* get a room with the awesome me?" Gilbert asked, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Your eyes widened, shaking your head 'no'. "I'll just take you home and stay to make sure you're alright..."

"Ugghhh *hic* fine." Gilbert yawned, slowly becoming tired.

You sat up, jumping out of the bar chair. Doing that, you slipped your hand into Gilbert's and guided him home.

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Extended ending
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It was morning now, you stayed with Gilbert to make sure he was okay.

He woke up about 8:00 A.M, you were there, sitting next to his bed, on the floor. Gilbird was still in his bird cage, sound asleep.

"Are you okay, Gilbert?" You asked, concern in your face.

He groaned, rubbing his head. He reached out and grabbed your hand, giving it a tight squeeze.  "Nngh... What happened last night? I think my awesomeness caused me to get a migraine..."

"No. Gilbert, you were DRUNK last night... I don't think your awesomeness was involved in this situation at all." You assured him, stroking his cheek.

"What did I do...? What did I say?"

"Well, you did say some screwed up things." You admitted, "You also did some messed up things as well."

"Demonstrate one thing I did last night. Do it as awesome as possible!"

"Okay then, well you did this..." You closed your eyes, grabbing his shirt, and smashing your lips against his.

"How was that?"

"Awesome."

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Welp, I updated faster! :D I'm really happy about that. XD I know this one shot is really... Different. I wanted it to be like that.

Make sure to do the usual, I hope you guys enjoyed this.

I love you guys! That's all for today.