Confusion (Sequel to I Wish...)

Chapter 60

(Becca's pov)
-8pm-
Justin's still performing. Ryan and Chaz are either talking on the phone or watching tv.
I get to see Justin perform on tv, which is really cool. I get to see every detail, the passion he puts in singing, the sweat building up on his face, his neck vein, the movement of his jaw, everything. It's even better when I get to own all of him.
"Becca, let's order Chinese food."
Ryan suggested.
"I'm gonna wait for Justin."
I don't wanna do anything without him, at least not now.
"We'll snack on something then order it later."
Ryan and Chaz are so nice.
"Thanks."
I smiled at them.
"No problem."
Ryan let me rest against his chest, like Justin does.
"Is Emily ok with this?"
I asked him. I don't know much about his girlfriend, but I know her name. I wish I could get to know her more too.
"She'll understand."
Ryan assured me as Justin took off his shirt to sing Boyfriend. I cozied up next to Ryan and watched Justin finish the show.
"Are you cheating on me, baby?"
Justin walked in with a worn out look. I know he's joking.
"No."
I giggled and waited for him to give me a hug.
"I know."
He hugged me, his lips pressing into my neck.
"Bro, we were thinking about ordering Chinese food."
Ryan told him.
"Sounds good. You know what I like?"
Justin charged into a set of more comfortable clothes.
"Yea."
Ryan grabbed his phone.
"Let's go back to the bus."
Justin helped me up and led me into the bus. We waited on the couch with my head on Justin's lap.
"You're so beautiful, babe."
Justin kissed my cheek and I reached to touch the back of his neck.
"Are you hurting at all, baby?"
He lowered his voice since he's so close to me. I shook my head and felt his warmth from a few inches away. Then we heard a knock on the door, which made me flinch a little. Justin tightened his hold on me until we discovered that it was just the delivery guy. We all sat on the couch and ate our food.
Suddenly, I could've sworn I saw someone outside. I'm not paranoid. He's real. He's outside. What if he gets me again? What if there's a knife in his pocket?
"Becca, what's wrong?"
Justin was the first to notice.
"Are you choking? Becca!"
Justin looked me in the eyes. I shook my head. I'm not choking, but it sure feels like it.
"Becca! Is she having a panic attack?"
Ryan and Chaz came over to me.
"I don't know. Becca, calm down. Don't freak out. Stay calm."
Justin's eyes were begging me to calm down.
"Justin, sing to her."
Chaz told Justin. Justin hugged me and started singing Never Let You Go softly in my ear. He told me to breathe in between some of the verses. I calmed down and soon broke down in his shoulder.
"It's ok, baby. I've got you."
Justin's heart was still pounding rapidly and his breaths were shaky. I know I scared him. I didn't mean to.
"I'm sorry."
I cried into him.
"It's not your fault, babygirl."
Justin held me close.
"I saw him."
I know he won't believe me.
"Where?"
He muttered in my neck.
"Outside."
I pressed my face deeper in his shirt. I know the bus is moving so that makes me harder to believe.
"Ryan, Chaz, can you guys check outside for anything?"
Justin told them.
"Yea."
They looked outside the window while Justin and I held onto each other.
"Shhh, don't cry, baby. I'll protect you."
Justin stroked my hair and still sounded a little shaken.
"We don't see anything."
Ryan told us. Maybe I am just paranoid.
"Here, finish your food, baby."
Justin let me go and handed me the box of Chinese food. I shook my head, signaling I wasn't hungry anymore.
"You wanna go to bed?"
He dried my eyes as I nodded.
"C'mon, let's get you in bed."
Justin carried me up once the bus parked. He carried me into the hotel and to our room.
"It's ok, baby."
Justin kissed my temple and set me on the bed. I was sitting up. I wasn't in the mood for a massage tonight. Maybe another time.
"Here, brush your teeth."
Justin handed me my toothbrush and some toothpaste. I took them and started brushing my teeth.
"Spit in this."
He handed me two cups, one with water and one with nothing. I sipped the water then spit into the empty cup. I smiled a little at how sweet Justin is.
"I'll be right back."
He went into the bathroom. Ryan and Chaz soon entered our room.
"We're staying the night here, Justin's orders."
Chaz smiled friendly at me.
"Let's get you comfortable, beautiful."
Justin came back and handed me a shirt, his shirt. He helped me take mine off and replaced it with his. Then he unzipped my shorts and pulled them off for me.
"I love you so much."
He kissed my head as he tucked me in. He's so worried about me. It even worries me.
"Don't make too much noise."
Justin told Ryan and Chaz.
"We won't."
They spoke from the couch. Justin shut the door then joined me in bed.
"Are you ok?"
He whispered and spooned me.
"Yea. Thank you."
I put my good hand over his.
"I'd do anything for you, baby."
And with that, he kissed my cheek.
-12am-
I can't sleep for shit. I'm paranoid. I'm scared of going to sleep.
"Becca."
Was that the wind? My head? Or Max? Oh, please tell me I'm just imagining things.
"Becca."
Another voice spoke to me; then I saw a shadow. Shit, what's going on? This is so frustrating! I'm tired as fuck but I can't even sleep.
"Fuck this."
I grumbled and threw my pillow on the floor.
"Mm, Becca? Is everything ok?"
Justin mumbled then grew alert and sat up.
"I can't sleep."
I started crying in my hands.
"Baby, don't cry. It's ok."
He hugged me and kissed my head as I cried in his shoulder.
"I'm so scared, Justin."
I sobbed and wet his bare shoulder with my tears.
"Becca, there's nothing to be scared of, baby. I'm gon-"
"Yes there is! I'm scared of everything! It's not gonna be ok! Everything's going wrong!"
I shouted at him and pushed him away.
"Becca-"
"You obviously don't care if I'm ok or not."
I mumbled and got up.
"Becca, I do care. But I can't do anything. Why are you mad at me?"
He got up too and took my arm.
"I'm just so tired of everything going wrong. It's, like, I get my hopes up just to be let down every fucking time. Why can't anything go right for once?"
I sniffled and felt his warmth spread throughout my body.
"It's gonna be ok, Becca, wether you believe it or not."
Justin hugged me securely and I hugged back.
"I'm sorry, Justy."
I mumbled in his skin.
"Don't be."
He led me back in bed and cuddled next to me. I know I can't sleep, even if I have Justin beside me.
-4am-
-Becca's dream-
I was walking in the street, somehow alone. Max is following me. I can't move but I don't know why. Max started touching me, feeling me from behind. It's like I'm stuck to the floor. He hit me and slapped me over and over again. I screamed and begged him to stop. That's when he started tearing off all my belongings. I felt his hands choking me, holding me down. I can't move. I can't speak. I can't breathe!
"You're mine forever."
Max hissed before I couldn't survive anymore.
-End of Dream-
I gasped awake in panic. That choking feeling from the dream took over. I squeezed whatever I could which was the sheets and Justin's arm.
"Becca, dammit. Ryan, Chaz!"
Justin took me in his arms and held my face.
"Becca, calm down. Don't freak out, baby."
Justin looked me in the eyes as Ryan and Chaz bursted in the room. Everything went by so fast. It's so difficult to focus.
"Becca, look. It's ok. There's no need to worry."
Ryan looked straight at me. Chaz took Justin's place too. I let Ryan and Chaz's words calm me down. Justin's in the corner, his head against the wall. He looks upset.
(A/N: School tomorrow 😒😒😒 Next post is Tuesday)

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