Chase Me || Calum Hood

2.8

{Delilah}.

"Baby." I chocked out, tiptoeing over towards Calum who was asleep on the bed. My hand reached down to him and I stopped myself for a moment, hesitant to touch him at first. I ran my fingers through his hair, his blond streaks almost completely faded by now as were most of the visible bruises on his body.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there, Calum. I know I should have been, but you have to understand how hard this is for me." I whispered to him, a part of me knowing that he felt my absence.

"Look at me, I'm a mess Calum." I spoke with fake laughter in my voice as I looked down at myself. His silence always meant something different to me. One moment, I would take it as a time to talk to him about anything and everything going on in my mind, other times I would use it as my chance to cry my heart out to him, expressing my need for him to wake up. Today, I used it to apologise to him.

"Listen Cal," I began softly, picking up his hand and holding it in mine, my thumb running soothingly over the bridge of his knuckles. "I know I haven't been here the past few days and I'm sorry about that. I hope I didn't let you down too much."

My eyes flickered to his, noting that they were still closed. "But I went away because once again, I couldn't stand the thought of you leaving me. Perhaps thats what it all comes down to and why you're here, I don't really know. But just like before, I wanted to be the one to say goodbye; not you."

With a few tears rolling down from my eyes, I pulled out a scrunched up piece of paper from the back of my jeans. Opening it, my eyes skimmed over the words making sure that I still felt every word I had wrote down.

"I was hoping that because you woke up, I wouldn't need to say this anymore, but look where we are, Cal; we're right back where we started. Anyways, this is why I haven't been here the past few days. I've been figuring out everything and trying to write down all that I want to say to you in case you do decide to leave. It's not much, but it means a lot."

Before I continued, I glanced back at the door making sure it was shut. I wasn't going to breakdown again or anything like that, but I just wanted these few moments to be between just the two of us. It was the least I deserved.

"I'm not going to go on about how we met and I am not going to talk about all that has happened since then because you already know how it goes. But I do want to thank you for it Calum, every single moment. I hope you know I would take back any day - no matter how big or stupid the fight, I would give up so much for you to be ok again.

I hope you don't hate me for this. I hope you don't think its my fault, but I would understand if you do. You know that if I could feel you pain instead, I would, but it just doesn't work like that, I'm sorry. If I am going to lose you, if you're about to give up, I just want you to know how much I love you and I couldn't be more proud of you if I tried.

A million lifetimes could never compare to this one with you. You are everything to me Calum and I love you."

The last few words caught in my throat and they came out more of a restless sob than anything else. "I promise I'm still here baby, I'll always be."

I collapsed into the seat beside Calum, my hands still locked with his as I propped my elbows up on the bed by his torso, leaning my head against our hands.

Maybe now it was just a waiting game, left entirely down to Calum.

-

Just a shorter chapter, idk. This and the last one weren't really that good but I wanted to have something up for you guys.

I'm raising it now because of the impressively high number of comments received on the chapters so far, so 50+ comments for the next upload. I know you guys can do it.

Hope you all have a lovely day, I love you all so much. Feel free to message me if you're ever struggling with anything or you need someone to listen.

|| Come to me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest. - Matthew 11:28 ||