Chase Me || Calum Hood

3.2

{Delilah}.

What if you woke up, only to realise that everything had been a dream? That the things haunting you were nothing but a bitter nightmare...? How lovely it would have been for that to be the case, but it wasn't. Not for me, and not for anyone.

As hopeful as we were all trying to be, there were still times when we would relapse and break down again. Maybe it was the fact that we were still seeing Calum unconscious, scared that he was in pain, or maybe it was the fact that the thought crossed all of our minds that maybe we were lying to ourselves when we said that Calum would wake up.

Luke gave in first. Five days since Calum's last movement, tears began to fall from his eyes, the realisation that we could still lose Calum finally sinking in. I'm kind of glad that it happened though. It brought us all back to earth, and once again, we learned to accept the fact that this was never going to be as easy as it seemed.

Then it was me. I don't know what it was, maybe it had something to do with the dream I had, but I took one look at Calum when I woke up, and burst straight into tears. It was almost as if for a split second I forgot that this was all real. This was still happening.

You don't realise how strong of a person you are until you have to go through something like this. And even then, you still don't see yourself as anything but weak. I know I should give myself more credit, tell myself that I'm doing ok every once in a while, but it's not easy to focus on anything else but him. As a matter of fact, it's almost impossible.

He everywhere. That's how I know I need him. He distracts me constantly, even without being around, even by the slightest thing he does, but on that note, I'm also distracted without him. I don't know what to call it, but I just call it him.

I push in my earphones, the song 'Stay' by Mayday Parade instantly being sang softly into my ears, each lyric lingering on my mind until I realise that maybe I should have just skipped it when it came on. So I do, 'I Miss You' by Blink-182 being the next song on shuffle. I figure that every song of mine is going to remind me of Calum in some way, so I give up and just close my eyes, the music letting me escape from reality for a little while.

{Calum}.

Angered thoughts quickly began to fill my mind. I brought everyone to have so much hope in me, but I let them down. I couldn't wake up. At least every other time I had a reason that I lost my strength, mainly being that Delilah wasn't with me; but now, it was as if there was no reason. Perhaps my body just gave up, perhaps I just lost the strength to fight.

I didn't know how that was true though. All I wanted was to wake up and to be able to hold Delilah in my arms once more, to see her face again. I just wanted to stay, but I couldn't even do that, could I?

I just needed to know how to open my eyes. I swear I would be crying right now if I could, but even that was impossible to do. I couldn't talk, I couldn't see, I couldn't move, I couldn't cry, I couldn't even breathe on my own. I was practically dead. At least thats what it felt like.

Nothing hurts more than lying paralysed in a room full of the people you love, hearing their cries and their pleas for you. That hurts more than dying; that is hell.

I knew that I didn't have much longer left. It was inevitable. I could feel my body drifting in between two places, it didn't take much to guess what they were either. It was like the longer I stayed asleep, the more and more I was drifting away from everyone. I could feel myself losing her.

More than anything, more than ever, I had to stay. Gosh did I need someone to tell me how to do that, to tell me how to wake up and to scream and shout until I did, or until some sense was knocked into me. But no one knew I needed that. I was just lucky that I still had Delilah, no matter how broken or empty she was. I still had her; she was still mine.

'Wake up, Calum. Wake yourself up right now.' I screamed to myself, the adrenaline pulsing through my veins, the anger being overtaken.

'She's right here, Cal. Just open your eyes and look at her. She's always right here.'

-

Dedicated to @awxhemmings for using the word "subtle" in her next chapter on 'Nina'. Thank you, and good day (Inside joke). Sorry, it was invertible that I was going to say that.

But check out her books, they're FLIPPING AMAZING AND SHE INSPIRES ME SO MUCH AS A PERSON. I LOVE YOU NIAMH, YOU'RE ONE OF THE BEST FRIENDS I'VE EVER HAD.

I hope you like this. Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I've been feeing a bit sick : /

I guess its #Dalum by the way. Spead the love.

I want Calum to be ok. : (

COMMENT, COMMENT, COMMENT.

60 COMMENTS FOR NEXT UPDATE.