Avatar Rose: Dusk

Ch.58: Nathan

I shall mourn it.
And I shall weep.
But never will I lament.
-Rider (Iskander),Fate/Zero

After we found Rose, the air in the group shifted. Rose's arm- gone. Her shoulder- dislocated. Evan- concussion. His ankle- sprained. We're up against some tough guys. I'm sure though, if the entire group was fighting back then, we could have wrecked 'em. We really could've. Evan doesn't agree though. He dug up all his tracker bombs, his handgun, his knives. He also brought along a suitcase of needles. He pointed to them each in turn.

"Conscious paralyzation. Unconsciousness. Blindness. Dizziness. No urinary control." He chuckled, holding the needle delicately in his hands. "That's my favourite one." Resuming his count, he continued , "A chemical that induces heart-attacks. A chemical inducing seizures. A chemical inducing a major STD." He slipped open a compartment in the suitcase. "Moving on to the poison pills, they're all deadly except this one." He picked up a light grey one and rolled it between his fingers. "This one makes the person immune to pain, so you can invoke a small injury, such as cutting off a finger as they sleep, and they won't feel it and they'll bleed out during the night." Another compartment slipped out. "These are my poison bullets. They all put a dangerous chemical in your blood that eats up your chi. I only have 10 of them though."

He's so decked out, sometimes I wonder which one he was more- a bounty hunter or assassin. I guess my brother was both.

Now, I'm at the hardware store- in a wig and makeup than normal. The wanted posters have come up, so we have to go everywhere in disguise.

Gwen and Xander were practically bursting out of their pants as they met the new 'Nathanita' for the first time. It's been tough though. Opportunities to make light of our situation are taken almost solemnly nowadays. Having an entire nation after your guts is rather unnerving. We're leaving in three days. Rose, I can tell isn't looking forward to it. We just met up with what she considers a father. Now we're leaving again. It's for the best, though. We can't endanger his life for our sake. Staying here is just causing him more trouble.

My fingers close around the basement door handle. "Liesel? Are you there?"

"She's here," a voice calls back.

Xander.

He's been constantly by her side since the incident. You can tell the two are really close. It was no surprise when Rowan told us they were twins. As for an update on Liesel's condition- well, to be put blunt she's in no condition for combat. She's constantly trembling, and she hasn't slept for a couple of days. Liesel looks really hollowed out, and almost ghost-like. It's not like Rose, who seemed to snap back fairly quickly.

I go step by step down the stairs. "Hey, Liesel," I say calmly. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," she manages to whisper, her teeth grinding and her head shaking. Taking a breath, she quickly lets out a sting of words. "I'm so sorry I'm really trying to-"

"We know you are, we know," Xander says gently. "We're here for you, if you need anything, let us know."

Liesel nods.

A voice yells from upstairs, "SANDWICHES! LUNCHTIME EVERYONE!"

Gwen.

"I'll get some for you guys," I offer.

"That'll be great, thanks," he says, his eyes focused on his sister's shaking body.

"Anytime."

I make my way upstairs, and quickly deliver them before heading outside, through the forest to the Oasis for some more training. Launching myself up the cliff, and then pacing through the hard gravely pathways, my senses pick up on the slight details of things. I guess I've never really noticed how distinct this place is from Fire Nation- how the sun seems cooler here, how the grass smells fresher. How the clouds seem whiter, and the skies are bluer. Even the way the dirt sinks below your feet seems more welcoming. Like it or not, I am a Fire Nation citizen, a traitor to my country. I would think I'd never be welcomed back. But- suppose I was, and suppose I was given an opportunity to change the Fire Nation-just wishful thinking, I would make it more welcoming and kinder. The reign of the Fire Lord has it's tolls on citizens too, don't get me wrong.

My footsteps echo throughout the cave to the oasis. The air gets more humid and humid until-

There we are.

"Rose?" I exclaim. "What are you doing here?"

Her focus is halted and the water she was controlling drops to the sand with a splash.

"Just some more practice," she says with a little grin.

That smile is fake.

"Nice," I reply. "Want to spar?"

"No, thanks," she says almost immediately.

"Oh, okay." I take a small step to the left. "I'll be over here if you need any help or anything..."

"Of course," Rose says, and then smiles again.

She's such a bad actor.

3 days. Hopefully Liesel will be ready by then.

I turn around. "You know, Rose... I don't see you any different after you killed him."

She doesn't reply.

"I don't want you regretting your actions all your life. You had no choice."

Rose speaks. "I don't care about that anymore," she snaps. "It's just annoying not having my arm around."

I can tell she's lying. Something is really off with her. Normally I can't tell if she's lying or not. She must be really off kilter.

"Rose, let me tell you something," I say. "Everyone makes mistakes. But if you start regretting them, you'll start regretting everything. Our team's foundation is you. You can cry and grieve for what happened in the past, but the second you regret, our foundation comes crashing down."

"What? Nothing's wrong, I swear. Sure, I-"

"Rose, don't argue with me I'm not in the mood." My feet set off to the creek in the north-east corner of the oasis. "Just.. Don't lose sight of the goal."

And then I go for practice.