Avatar Rose: Dusk

Chapter 59: Rose

I pause for a moment as the anger begins to swell inside my chest. My face reddens. My teeth grit and my hand clenches furiously. "And what goal is that?"

He turns around to face me. "Saving the world. Did you forget that so easily?"

"Be realistic! How are we, a group of teenagers, going to defeat the whole Fire Nation! It's stupid!"

"It's been done before. I said I wasn't in the mood to argue."

I begin to pace as he ignores me. He carries on with some fancy water trick.

How dare he... I'm not arguing! I'm just facing the facts. I'm like some mascot for this group, nothing more. I've experienced that before, but it's not going to happen again. I should be the leader of this group. They're all following me anyway. I didn't ask for them to come along.

"You can't just shut me down like that!" I shout angrily.

"What? I'm not shutting you down. I'm just tired of you acting like you don't care, so I'm telling you that I'm not buying it," he replies.

"Well I don't care! I don't care about anything!"

"You're acting childish. If you don't care, then why are you so angry, Rose?"

He's talking to me like a little kid now. He's right, I do sound like a small child. And then that question.

Why am I so angry?

I open my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. I just stare at him, shocked. He looks back, calm and almost emotionless. But no, there is something. He's sad. He's sad because he's watching me struggle and he's unable to help me. No, I won't let him. That's why. This is my problem.

I take a deep breath. "The less you care, then the happier you'll be."

Nathan chuckles at this, shaking his head in disapproval. Of course. I don't even know why I try.

I turn my back on him, but he grabs my hand. I don't pull away, I just stand there. I crave his touch, but I've forced myself to never enjoy it too much. It surprises me that I'm giving in.

"Well I think you care. I think you care a lot, you just need to learn how to admit that," he murmurs.

That's when I pull away. I walk back to the house alone. Teacher is outside. I offer a smile to him before I walk in. A broken one, but it's the best that I can do.

"Are you guilty for killing that man?" He asks abruptly.

Is this going to be another little 'Nathan Lecture?' I cross my arms. "Of course not. In fact, I think it was rather an act of mercy. He'd be rotting in jail for the rest of his life instead if it weren't for me."

Teacher smirks, wrapping me in his strong arms. "Good. I'm just glad you're safe. You have a knack for getting in those kind of situations, you know."

"I'm sorry I made a mess of your house. I should've never come back here. Rowan would have stayed, and you would've been safer. I'm so, so sorry," I croak, on the brink of tears.

He strokes my hair for a while, rocking me back and forth as he holds me in his arms. Something no one else would be able to do to me.

I notice that Rowan calls him dad now. But I've never been tempted to use that word. Every time I've been forced to use it, it was either for someone awful, or someone who eventually died. Teacher is perfect. I guess it's the word that will always be "dad" to me.

"I love you, Rose. You'll always be my little girl, no matter who you are or what choices you make. Don't forget that," he whispers.

"I love you too, Teacher," I murmur quietly. I wince as I say those words. Why? Because in my opinion, it's one of the most terrifying words out there. But I use it now because it means to trust and depend on someone. Or I think it is. I'm not quite sure.

Am I in love with Nathan?

The thought stings. I've always told myself I was. But if I can't tell him anything no matter how hard I try, does that mean it's not true? Have I been telling myself this for so long that I believe it?

And then there's Xander. If I was hopelessly in love with Nathan, why would I have such feelings for someone else as well!?

Shut up. Stop thinking. Just makes everything else more complicated.

I shake the thought off and get up. "I'm going inside. I think my shoulder cut opened again."

Nathan eventually shows up, but I ignore him. He tries to talk and make up with me, but I give him blunt and dry answers. He eventually gives up. For now, at least.

Dinner time seems to arrive much too quickly. Liesel stares at her plate with sad eyes, playing with her food. She's still getting over with what happened. And all she did was scream into her gag as I crammed a knife into someone. Then there's me, where I'm completely fine. Well, not really, but at least I'm not as public about it.

Evan cracks a few jokes, and even makes Liesel giggle. I make sure to sit in between Teacher and Rowan so Nathan isn't able to bother me.

Rowan offers to clean the dishes tonight even if it's my turn, but I refuse his offer. I mean, how hard can cleaning pots be with one arm?

Very hard, apparently. Rowan comes in an hour later, finding that I've barely made progress. It's especially difficult when your remaining arm is hacked up in various places.

"Rose," he calls my name worriedly.

"What!?" I snap through gritted teeth, trying to clean a spot on a pan with a soapy sponge.

He flinches at my tone. "Y- your shirt is soaked through with blood. Putting too much tension on that cut will reopen it, you know."

I try to ignore the comment, but I end up being gently pushed out of the kitchen and into the living room. Everyone is there, sipping on tea while watching the news. All their eyes land on me, then  to the fresh blood staining my white T-Shirt.

My arm stings pretty bad, but nothing I can't handle. Gwen rushes me to the bathroom before I can protest.

"Oh, why can't you just let it heal? Xander is working on your new arm, you should relax now while you can," she says as she bends water around my entire arm. I give a deep sigh of relief as the cool sensation flows throughout it, soothing the pain.

"I'll relax when I replace my father on the throne," I reply with a cocky smirk.

Gwen sighs. "Rose, about that. I don't think that's such a good idea. You've been through so much. Returning to that place wouldn't be healthy, all you need to focus on is rebuilding the other nations back up again."

Unhealthy? My eyebrows furrow for a moment, confused on how she'd say such a thing. But then I remember. She saw how I was back in the Water Tribe, what my father did to me. I was crazy. Heck, I'm just as crazy as I was, but I've regained my control over it. I've always been a hot mess. But I'm still Fire Nation. I can't say that I'm not proud of that either. Even if we're using the military for wrong things, we're still the strongest Nation on Earth. We're the most developed as well. Overall, the Fire Nation has been the most successful, people are just too resentful to see that.

"I'm the princess. I have a right to be the new Fire Lord," is all I say.

Huh. Princess Rose. It's been a while since I've ever referred to myself that way.

Fire Lord Rose... The thought brings a smile to my face, a genuine one this time.