The Billionaire Darkness

Chapter Ninety-Five

Walking into the park near midnight I moved along the path towards the bench we had met at last time I was out here alone, and I had to trust that somehow, some way he would know by fate or otherwise.

Finding the bench, the boards untouched by the night dew, I sat coiling my fingers together slowly.

"You know we can't keep meeting in parks like a late night secret," his voice breaks the silence, the swirling thoughts in my mind as I stare down at myself, at the blade between my fingers the edge cold and piercing against my skin threatening to break the surface.

"What are you doing here," I mutter, staring at him, at what I could make out better than the many other times we'd met like this. Dressed in buffed chelsea boots tucked under trousers, a hoodie with the bottom folded under itself, the long coat that was almost dark enough to make him disappear into the shadows even if he was just ten feet away, as always blanketed in shadows, his leather gloves stuffed in a pocket of the cashmere coat, and maybe the only glimpse of colour I'd ever seen on him in the form of a dark green scarf clutched in his hands despite the fact it was only a thick foggy night lit up solely by moonlight, and city lights.

"I told you before if you needed something just come here, I keep my word," he says moving to stand closer to me, and without thinking I jerked the blade away from my exposed wrist clutching it in my hand before as if by apparition he pinched my wrist making me drop the blade to the ground.

"Don't," it was pinched, like he knew the thousand reasons that were behind going so far as to put a blade to my wrist. It was stupid, a ridiculous attempt at ending my pain, but how was I meant to say it all outloud. That I was at the point where it felt like the only escape, like if I just bled out in a park maybe that would leave enough for someone anyone to uncover the truth.

"Why not, I want the relief, so just let me, please," I gasp, my vision becoming blurry before I realized I was crying.

"No, I can't let you do that, it's too easy to commit suicide, and no one benefits from that," he says in that low soft voice that was oddly calming.

"How do you, know that," I ask trying to catch a hint of his face but he moved to kneel, his hands wrapping mine which began to warm again, the tips of my fingers feeling fuzzy from the icy touch of the blade's absence, replaced by that comforting feeling I couldn't place with him.

"I got drunk one night, super drunk, and decided I could just drown away my problems. Literally, I got in a pool, and held my breath. Eventually I'd pass out, or adrenaline would flood me as water filled my lungs. I couldn't, one thought stopped me, and I shoved myself out of that pool. Suicide isn't an option, it will only make your abuser feel more fulfilled, people who hurt others for sadistic pleasure are technically aroused by the harm they perpetrate onto others. Don't let him win," he says pulling me to him and for just the briefest moment I swore I relived that night at the end of October as the smell of a familiar bergamot and sandalwood cologne filled my nose.

"You're crying harder," he whispered and I only buried my face harder into his chest. How do I explain to this stranger who knows the things I can't admit to the people I know as deeply as I do with him. Is it because he's faceless to me, that we don't know anything about one another other than this park is a place of solitude for one another. Is it that it's more of a confessional, or is it that maybe, just maybe the truth is there and I just don't want to admit it.

Mostly because it's an impossibility, and I don't want to make more of a fool out of myself.

"I-I don't know what to say. I've, it's been a while since someone h-has comforted me like this," I say in between sobs, because the truth is too hard to admit, and definitely too foolish to explain.

"Because you don't get it from home or friends, or because they don't know. Surely you have to have someone other than a midnight stranger to comfort you," he says with a faint laugh that fills some hollow point in my chest.

"Because my mom has tried, but they can't prove anything, and my friends have their own lives, but do their best, I just don't like being touched, it's all too fresh for me," I admit before the reality that I was being held slammed into me light a two hundred car freight train.

"You've buried yourself in my chest, though I guess I'm not usually the comforting kind of person," he says as I breathed in slowly, his arms tightening briefly around me as if he understood more than just the words that had come out of my mouth.

"You're comforting me," I say before realizing just how stupid that must have sounded.

"I am, I can tell you needed it. From one messy person to another, I sympathize in a way that isn't just empty words," there was an edge in his words as if they were more than just an empathetic statement, like he actually knew what it was that I was going through, but maybe that was the reality for whatever silent unspoken thing lingered behind our interactions. He was the faceless stranger I met at midnight because no one else would listen. It was a stupid thing to do considering I was a fifteen year old girl alone in a park with a random boy who I didn't actually know the name or true description of.

Maybe the reason he hid was because he was a public figure? Because there is no way he's ugly.

That I knew for certain when I'd caught a glimpse of what he might look like under that hood, sharp pointed nose, semi thin lips which seemed to part only in reserved emotion, and even if I didn't really know what he looked like outside of that I did hold my own postulations about who was beneath that hood. Then again it was ridiculous, and completely improbable.

"I want to know who you are, even if it isn't your face or name. Who are you under that hood? And why are you lurking in a park this late at night?" I caught a hint of his lips twitching upwards before he turned away towards the city lights across the Hudson.

"I'm privileged, and I'm curious about who you are as much as you seem to be about me. So without directly answering your question, I don't really belong in Brooklyn, I just like that it's simpler than where I come from, that's all you need to know about me," he says like he was ashamed of part of who he was.

"Well, wherever you come from, you seem like a good person," I say, and he turned back to me. Nodding slowly he then let out some mix of a weary sigh, and amusement.

"There are many words that could describe me, I'm not sure good is the right one," he mused before I swore I saw a smile. "But I appreciate it, and I hope you don't give up like that, things will get better, they always will if you wait, I can promise you that."

"That sounds like goodbye," I say, glancing at him, and the tense way he stood staring at Manhattan.

"It is," he said, sounding a little bit like he didn't actually want to be saying goodbye at all.

I also couldn't tell him I didn't actually want these night meetings to end. Could I?

Before I could speak again he'd began to move back towards the shadows, and then he spoke again.

"Goodnight," it was simple and still for whatever reason, I smiled to myself as he disappeared into the night, silently accepting that this was for the best.

I then turned my attention from his fading silhouette to the sky where the moon shone down on the park from between the cloud bank high above, the illumination of city lights far across the river glowing back at me, while his final comforting words echoed through my mind with more affirming finality than I'd expected.

"Things will get better, they always will if you wait."

Maybe it was that he'd suffered in his own way that had drawn me too him, and I remembered in that moment some stupid thing I'd once heard Angela and Paris discussing. That you encountered people for a reason and that when their part in your life, and theirs in yours was complete you'd never see them again, and I couldn't help but think that if this was that boy and I's final meeting, he'd helped me more than he'd ever know.
    
    
This is the last chapter of their meetings, even though I know I only did two, and mentioned the rest. I do hope you all enjoyed it though. Comment, vote, and share. Anyways

Peace✌