Love In Colour

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE: ESTRANGED MOTHERS & HOLY DEVILS

My stomach feels horrible, like I am going to throw up. I am a nervous, lip-biting wreck and I'm holding on by a thin thread from cancelling all of this. The idea of calling everything off makes me feel a little relief.

"No," Ben says to me as if he hears my thoughts. "You need to get out of that head of yours. Don't let the anxiety get to you." I feel the warmth from his hand on my shoulder seep into my skin, "You're strong, and you're going to get through this."

He's right. I have been through much worse things than this. That still doesn't make me feel less anxious. It's not every day that you get to ask your estranged mother about why she left you.

Sitting on the edge of the couch, my stomach drops when the doorbell rings. I feel warmth from Grayson's hand as he intertwines our fingers. I knew that I wouldn't be able to do this alone, so I have my support system with me. Rhys is busy with a major surgery, so Ben and Gray are here.

I watch as Ben walks toward the front door. My heart beats a fast rhythm when his hand curls over the doorknob and twists it open. He steps aside and allows them in. They step inside hand-in-hand.

I don't stand to greet them, to greet her. Once again, it throws me a little off kilter when I look at her face. So much of me resembles her, and I hate that. I hate how there's so much of her in me.

"Good afternoon," Richard softly utters. Gray nods his head, and Ben just angrily glares at them.

My heart beats violently against my rib cage. I'm scared–so terrified of the things that will be said.

They take a seat across from where I am sitting next to Grayson. Bentley sits on my other side, on the couch armrest. The air is heavy with tension. My eyes study her; her form, the way she carries herself, the way she is dressed.

Her clothes look expensive. The LV purse she carries on her lap looks very fancy. Everything about her appearance screams money. Anger ignites deep in my belly–I form fists with my hands and try to calm down.

"So, uh..."Richard tries to speak, filling the heavy air with words, "How do we do this?" He glances at me before slightly turning to his wife.

I clear my throat, "Why?" I ask her. There's no need for me to clarify. We all know what I mean? What I am asking.

Straightening my spine, I ask her again, "Why?"

Her hands slightly tremble as she takes a deep breath. She looks up from her lap and looks at me, "I'm sorry. I'm so-""

"No!" I say through gritted teeth. "You don't get to do that. To say that." Unshed tears are gathering in her eyes, "And you don't get to cry. You have no right cry."

Her bottom lip quivers, "I-I had no ch-choice," she stutters. Tears now fall on her cheeks. I don't reply. I just wait. Wait for her to tell me how she didn't have a choice.

"My parents are conservative people. God-fearing Christians."

Ben and I scoff at the same time while Gray mutters, "bigots," lowly enough for all of us to hear.

She clears her throat, "I didn't have a choice. My parents threatened to disown me for being pregnant." Her tears are now a steady stream on her cheeks, "My father didn't want me under his roof with a child that I had out of wedlock."

"So you have me, leave me on the doorstep of an orphanage with nothing but my name." I clearly state, proud of how my voice doesn't break. "Why didn't you have an abortion?"

She pales at the question, "That's wrong. That's a-"

"A sin." I finish for her.

"I was too late for me. Even if I wanted one." She stares at me, "It was too late for you."