Secrets

Chapter 54

*Caroline's P.O.V*

Week after week after week had slowly passed. I hadn't heard a word be spoken from Niall. Although truth be told I saw him on the news almost every evening. I tried to avoid it seeing it just made me feel even worse about myself. I couldn't stop thinking about him, that was the problem.

I didn't want to tell myself I missed him, even though everyone thought it was obious. Even when I skyped Harry or Louis they told me how sad or gloomy I look. I blamed it on sleep deprivation, but we all know I would stay up for hours scrolling through my old tweets or pictures from when Niall and I were together.

It was a pretty common system. Look at a picture, miss him like crazy, run my finger over his contact, get mad at myself, then him, scream, maybe cry, eat my feelings, then sleep.

It happened so often I really didn't think it was very healthy. Of course I went to work and hung out with Andie as much as possible. But there was something about when Niall was back I finally felt like some missing part of me had returned. Maybe it was that annoying voice in my mind telling me to slap him.

Who know's.

But this week had been the worst, I had cried for more hours than any girl should ever endure. Don't get me wrong I'm usually not a cry baby but it just came on me. It's like my brain & body forced water out of my eyes.

Not very pleasant.

Before watching my usual rounds of television I was scrolling through my face book newsfeed. Some things about Emma's wedding came up, then I saw a link with Niall's name it. The curiousity overcame me and I double clicked it. The hyperlink brought me to an article on the Ellen Show website.

One Direction's, Niall Horan admits his true feeling's for his lost love Caroline Goddard

The headline read. I kept reading it over an over again. There was a youtube video of the whole show underneath some words talking about how much all the fans missed us. On the side line there was a video reading 'Niall Horan breaks down in concert when fan announces her love for 'Ciall'

How could I have not saw this?

I clicked on the youtube video first seeing I had missed this episode completely. Maybe I was avoiding it. Same difference.

"Why don't we give the famous band 1D a warm round of applause!" Ellen cooed recieving hugs from the 5 grinning boys. Niall seemed the most unhappy out of all of them though. He started joking around with Ellen about how they had similar hair and looked the same but then it got down to the interview.

"So boy's who's single here?" Ellen inquired.

Niall raised his hand slowly holding only 2 fingers up. Ellen gave him a sad looking face and patting his back, "We heard about your ex's rejection. I think we all did. I believe it was truly inspiring for you to run back after her after all this lost time. It takes a real man to do that." Niall gave her a weak smile nodding.

Real man? You shitting me? What does she know. For god sake she's lesbian!

Nothing against, Ellen. I love her.

"Since all these rumours are floating around like wild fires would you like to confirm what really happened?"

"Well," Niall started. "I went back for her after my mate Harry told me to. I found her in the parking lot of her work complex. She's a pharmasist you see."

Sure tell everyone my whole life story.

"I wanted to take her on a date & she accepted after quite a good amount of begging. I thought the date went swell. She had different thoughts, it ended with a rediculous fight about how I had my chance and she wanted me to leave her life. But you see, I don't think she understands how difficult that is when ever interviewer inquires my feelings for her. It's hard to forget. But I guess I understand where she's coming from. It's just as hard to forget as it is to forgive." He took a deep breath and Ellen studied him with sorrowful eyes.