IF I FALL - #Wattys2016

CONFUSED | LYA

I woke up with a massive headache that morning and it took me a while to situate myself.

I remembered the party, the handsome Mike and the great time I had. Then we headed home and I didn't feel like going to bed right away. So I asked him if we could go finish the bottle he took from Mike's on the rooftop, which he accepted.

So far so good. Then I've been drinking... And my head started hurting... Did I... Fall asleep on the roof? Or did I manage to crawl to my room?

Black hole. Couldn't remember a thing.

I crawled to bathroom and took a long and cold shower to wake me up.
While facing the bathroom mirror, I noticed my puffy eyes... Aftermath of all the liquor I drunk maybe... Yet, they were red, which is usually a symptom of me...

Oh lord!

It came back all at once. We were talking on the bench and I somehow felt comfortable... Maybe too comfortable?

I touched him... Worse... I talked to him.. I confessed to him about my miserable life... I told him everything about my parents and how I grew up around that situation!

So stupid! I was so stupid! One good night spent with him and I already told him what I never told to anyone before. How could that be?

I put my head between my hands, realizing the huge mistake I made. How was I supposed to face him after telling him all that?

He was probably going to tell Sarah or his friends. There was no way I could still hang out with them. I would have to avoid them.

I couldn't believe how stupid I had been. I had been drunk a dozen times before and managed to never let my emotions pouring. First time I got drunk around this guy and I was already crying on his shoulder like a damn cry baby. He must have thought I was crazy.

Anyway, who gives a shit about what he thought?

I dressed up and went to explore Brooklyn, trying to forget about how I slipped so miserably.

I spent the whole day outside, walking till my feet hurt and went home after 9 pm.

The night was falling and the air was hot. I really wanted to go to the rooftop but I was scared to find him there. It would have been awkward to meet him.

I checked my phone to check my messages and saw one from Sarah who was letting me know that she went back home safely.

I was probably hoping to see a text from TOM, insulting me for my attitude that night. But there was nothing from him. It was not good.

Not good at all.

It was way too hot inside my place and I decided to go to the rooftop anyway. The hell with him. So what if I told him personal stuff? I would just say it was bullshit.

I carefully opened to rooftop door, slowly, trying to avoid making any noise in case he was there, so I could run away with him noticing me. But nobody was on the terrace.

Relieved, I slowly made my way toward the long chair, frantically looking left and right to make sure he was not hidden anywhere.

I laid down on the chair, put my headphones on, and closed my eyes, enjoying the light breeze while listening to my chill playlist.

The headache slowly faded away and I was finally started to relax...

"If I'm looking for you, I already know where to find you." A familiar voice echoed in my ears. My whole body froze when I opened my eyes and saw him standing up in front of me.