IF I FALL - #Wattys2016

SELFISH FRIEND | LYA

Still couldn't believe what he said. Couldn't believe we were going to take that step and never felt has happy as that night. It kept popping in my mind all day, locking that smile on my lips permanently.

I couldn't wait to go home and be with him. The day was dragging and I was missing him so much that it felt like I hadn't seen him for days. He became the center of my life in just a few months and my whole world was revolving around him. It was scary and comforting at the same time. A weird feeling that I couldn't explain myself.

As soon as the click hit 9 pm, I rushed to get my stuff back and headed toward the exit.

I ran until the nearest subway station, direction home. It was finally time to get back to him and spend a lovey dovey night together to catch up on these hours missed.

I didn't even bother to stop by my place first. I just couldn't wait anymore to see him so I went straight to his floor.

As I walked closer to his door, I distinctly heard a conversation going on coming from his apartment. I slowed down, surprised by the fact he was not home alone and when approaching the door, I realized it was not completely closed.

I hesitated to knock and enter his place but when I recognized the other voice, I immediately stopped.

Sarah... Sarah was in his apartment. What was she doing there? Why did he have her over?

I thought about walking away, too shaken by the idea of him inviting his ex over. But the distinct conversation awoke my curiosity and I suddenly felt the urge to listen to what they were saying.

"I never said that, Tom. But you got to understand me as well" Sarah said.

"I know... And I'm sorry. I can't tell you how much I am. Nothing that I could say would make it up to you... I know"

"Did you even care about me?"

"You know I did. Always have, always will"

"So what did you feel when we were having sex?"

That question hurt me to the max. It was already painful enough to know he slept with Sarah. But I definitely couldn't handle listening to the details of their nights together.

"I... I don't know. How the hell am I supposed to answer that?"

"But I love you... I love you, you always knew it. And I know you do have feelings for me. Otherwise, you would have never begged me to stay all night last time"

What the hell?

"I... I like you Sarah... A lot. You're a very special person to me"

"But apparently, she is too... so you picking her means she's more important to you than I am, right? "

My heart was thumping really loud as I was waiting for his answer. I don't know how many seconds he waited before finally opening his mouth, but it sure felt like an eternity.

"It's not like that..." he finally admitted.

I couldn't hear anymore. It was too much for me. Just imagining them kissing, hugging or having sex was already unbearable but I somehow could manage. But that answer he gave her hurt even more.

I went back to my room, a little shaken by what I heard.

I always tried to avoid thinking about his relationship with Sarah. Ever since that day at the hospital when I saw them hugging while she repeated him how much she loved him, many questions kept haunting me. I never suspected their relationship to be that strong, but somehow, they were bonded to each other.