IF I FALL - #Wattys2016

THE PAIN | LYA

I held it the best I could. I tried to act as natural as possible. I was all smile on the surface but inside, I was in tears.

There was no one to blame, really. If anything, I was the stupid one in that story. I was the one who let my guard down and naively fell in love with a guy who loved another one. It was all my doing. I should have known better. I should have been smarter than that.

I held my tears until I couldn't bear it anymore. I almost ran off from the terrace so he wouldn't see me crying. I honestly thought I was going to melt when I passed the door. But nothing. Not a tear came out. Despite the pain, I was unable to shed a tear.

I went back to my apartment and laid on my bed and memories of that conversation I had with Sarah at the hospital kept popping.

I went there after I left Mike's house. I was too shaken by what Mike confessed the night before and I needed a proper confirmation.

She was not expecting me to come at all, but a broad smile drew on her face when she saw me at the door.

"Oh my gosh, Lya!!!! I'm so glad to see you!"

Was she even sincere when she said that? I always considered her as a friend but how to see her the same way when I heard her saying to my boyfriend that she loved him?

"Hey!" I entered while displaying my best fake smile "how are you feeling?"

"I'm ok. My leg hurts pretty badly but they gave me good painkillers so I can bare with it for now"

"You scared me"

"I'm sorry. I recklessly crossed the street without even looking. I feel so stupid!"

"Don't. It's not your fault. That could have happened to anyone. I feel a little responsible. Maybe if I went with you to that concert, then it wouldn't have happened"

"No... Don't say that. I'm a clumsy person. That would have happened eventually. You had plans with your boyfriend. A boyfriend is more important" she chuckled.

How could she act so naturally? How could she say that when she was actually in love with my boyfriend? How could she pretend smiling when she was probably as hurt as I was deep inside? I couldn't fake it any longer.

"I saw it" I blurted.

"Saw it?" She repeated, puzzled.

"You and him, last night. You told Tom you loved him"

Her smile immediately disappeared and her face turned white. I guess she really didn't notice Mike and I.

"Lya... It's not like that. I was under the shock and I was scared to death. My mom was not there and I was so happy to see him that the aftershock of the accident made me say things I didn't even think"

"It's alright Sarah. You don't need to lie. I was with Mike and we came as soon as we could when we heard you were in an accident. I was in shock when I saw you two. So Mike explained me. I know... I know you like him... And it's alright. I'm not mad at you"

She blushed and I saw tears forming in her eyes. As much as I hated the fact that my friend was in love with my boyfriend, I never thought even for one split second think she was trying to hurt me. Falling in love is something you unfortunately cannot control. I knew that better than anybody else.

She hid her face behind her hand and cried.

"I'm sorry Lya. I never meant to hurt you... I hate myself for these feelings... Last night, I thought I was going to die... And I... I... I didn't want to die before letting him know. I am so sorry Lya. I never tried anything... I would have never done something like that to you... I said it just to say it... I never wanted to steal him from you or anything. I am so sorry"