IF I FALL - #Wattys2016

REVELATION | TOM

I couldn't understand it myself. It seemed like all I thought I knew about myself started contradicting one by one, little by little, ever since I met that girl.

I never believed in relationships, never relied on any feelings I ever felt. Yet ever since she came into my life, things got different. I started to want a relationship with that girl; not just a physical one; but something much deeper than that. I then wanted her to fall for me. Like hard. So hard she would never have to think about that fucker who played her back in high school. And then I wanted her to commit. To make sure she would stay no matter what. When I realized that she was real with me, that's when I realized how fucked I was.

I wouldn't say I figured it out overnight. I guess that was just always here and reinforcing every time I stepped closer to her. And it was getting stronger and stronger... to the point I just couldn't deny it anymore. To the point I knew what it was but still couldn't admit it.

And it kept growing. So big that I literally asked her to come with me if I had to leave the residence. Even if she was the one throwing the idea, I couldn't let her fuck up her life because of a fucked up guy like me. But while looking at her, truth is I wanted it as well. So I let my greediness taking over and asked her. When she said yes, I gotta admit that she made my day. The sole thought of not seeing her everyday was ticking me off and she solved that problem in two seconds. That girl never ran away from me. That girl never tried to change me. That girl loved me for who I was, with all the flaws I came with. She always waited patiently, always looked at me with the same eyes, never pushed to get anything from me. And she didn't have to anyway... because it was just coming naturally.

Man, that girl was driving me crazy and it was now showing. Couldn't pretend everything was normal anymore. I just wanted her to know how bad she got me.

End of spring break, unfortunately. We both had to leave each other to go back to our routine. I had to focus on focusing a little more on my studies, even if it didn't really matter anymore. But I honestly wanted to enjoy the rest of my student's life, knowing it was about to stop anytime.

Lya was working at her part -time job on that day and I had planned to go to Mike's after his father called me to meet me whenever I could. Mike's father had always been the daddy's picture perfect to me. Even if he was busy with work and barely home, he always made sure to make the most of his family whenever he could. That was something I respected and I envied Mike for having such a dedicated father.

He always cared about me. Whenever I was coming to play at their house when I was a kid, he always looked after me and made sure I was ok. I guess he knew, like most of the neighborhood, what was going on in my family, but he never really knew what to do nor if the rumors were right.

"What's good bro?" Tom said while letting me in.

"Nothing much... Came to see what you father got for me. Surprised me that he called about that"

"Yeah... I kinda talked to him about the whole situation and him threatening to leave you without anything if you decided to stay. He was pretty shocked. So I guess he's trying to work on a solution for you"

"But... Isn't he representing the father?"

"Not sure... You will have to check with him"

"Is he here?"

"He went to a meeting with one of his clients. He should be back soon though"

"K..."

"So how you been? Why you didn't show up last time?"

"Oh...uh... I broke up with Sarah on that day?"

"What?"

"Y-yeah..."