Dear Diary (Harry Potter x reader)

Year 5 Chapter 17: FALLIN' for ya, and A Woman Scorned

A/N: Quick warning guys, this chapter contains a suicide attempt, it is only one scene and is marked with a: ⚠︎ if this is something that may trigger you, please put your mental health first and skip that part of the chapter, and I will happily give you a summary of what happened.

Y/n and Maddy returned to school soon after Y/n's father's funeral. Elowen did not. The very day after Maddy and Y/n had been given the news, the Daily Prophet and every other Wizarding News forum had reported upon her father's death...

Y/n and Maddy hadn't been there when the news had been spread, but now they were back. And Y/n, wished the news hadn't been spread at all.

She should know the drill by now. It happened with Zetta. The stares, the whispers that stop when you walk by, the pitying looks, the people who begin treating you like you're made of glass. But with Zetta, it had been the end of the year, now it was the very middle. Now she had to deal with the looks from teachers, now even they seemed to think she was delicate. She was beginning to actually look forward to Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts, because at least Professor Snape and Professor Toad-Face didn't behave any differently around her than they already would have.

And perhaps it was hypocritical of her, to resent others for doing the very thing she'd yelled at Hermione for not doing just a few days prior... but she didn't care, she didn't really care about anything at the moment, she felt... empty, numb.

She began living on a routine, get up, get dressed, have breakfast, see Angel, go to class, prefect duties, go to bed, repeat, get up, get dressed, have breakfast, see Angel, go to class, prefect duties, go to bed, repeat, get up, get dressed, have breakfast, see Angel, go to class, prefect duties, go to bed, repeat. Over and over and over again, this routine kept her comfortable, of course she'd have to stray from this routine sometimes, to go to her lessons with Snape, or to go to Quidditch... when practice started again, but for the most part, she would not stray from it, for anything.

In late January, Y/n sat in the Dungeons for her private lesson with Snape, scrubbing out cauldrons with a particular vigour.

"Are we going to have any problems doing these lessons with that new decree?" She asked, reaching for a ladle to scoop out excess potion from one of the cauldrons.

Y/n hadn't noticed it initially, what, with everything that had happened, but the morning after the Azkaban breakout, a Umbridge had posted a new decree in every common room: