Ramblings of a Red Haired Girl

May 8

There's a lot going on.

So right now I'm sitting on a bed in a dorm room at WSU college (GO COUGARS!!!!) and grape is here. She had 3 energy drinks. I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight.

But in other things...

Dom is gone. She got in trouble. I talked to her soooo much. Like every day, hours on end. And it's just. Gone. Done. She won't be back for a long time.

And Kc's missing. I mean, not talking to him for a day, I get pretty worried. I worry about him a lot. But it's been almost two days.

I can hardly enjoy this ffa thing because i don't know if he's ok or not. I'm really worried.

All these sad, pressuring things that are going on.

And there is this one kid. I just met him like... A week ago. He is sooo nice.

Ya i know, daydreams fans, sounds just like I did when I met Kc. And that's cause it is.

Sweet. Kind. Nice. Full of complements. Just... Completely, impossibly perfect.

That fits both of them. But they are sooo different.

I mean kc.. He's calm and slightly sad. He can make a girl fell beautiful, even when she's not. He's always telling me I'm beautiful and all these complements. I'm just like whatever your just saying that to make me feel better.

And jeser... He's different. Not like Kc. Not at all. That's not bad. He's nice. He is really really sweet. The things he says... They are just... Really sweet. He isn't secretive or sad. He can make me smile, not matter what. He is sooo nice.

Ya know how there are this little things that girls always want to head from guys. The ones that girls want guys to tell them. Ya. These two boys say those things. Those perfect little complements.

And.., idk.

Jeser...

Well the past few weeks have been kinda hard on me. And then I met him and he's just.. Different. He isn't part of the stuff that's going on. He doesn't even know what's going on. But he somehow makes me smile.

And ya, I know. It may seem like I'm falling for one or both of these boys. But I'm not. 1. I don't do online dating. Just... No. Not gunna do that.

And 2. I just don't like them in that way.

With kc... Well there are just things. I can't say what. I will never love him as more than a friend.

And jeser. Well I just met him. He's sooo nice. I keep wondering if he's fake. I mean what kind of 15 year old boy gives complements like him? And romantic? This kid is probably more romantic than me. And maybe someday I could like him in "that" way. But not right now.

This is pretty much just a waste of words. But... I just wanted to get it out there. I want someone out there to know.

I'm tired. I'm going to try to get a hold of Kc again...

Talk to you guys later

Leah out (lol)