Black Wynter 3 "The Final Judgement"

Chapter Two

"Tommoi, come on out of your room. You're really starting to scare me!" Natasha called through the door, knocking loudly. Tommoi heard her sister calling to her, but at the same time she did not. Moi was high out of her mind. Natasha sounded far, far, far away.

Tommoi had never been much of a smoker, but lately it seemed that her mind was heavily clouded with weed. She needed it because her reality had become too much for her to handle. Tommoi knew that she should've called back out to her sister to let her know that she was alright. But Tommoi wasn't thinking that hard. The bud had her in a trance.

Tommoi has started smoking weed a week after coming home from that hospital, after giving up her baby. Weed wasn't a big deal, but still. She didn't want nobody in her business. She had always been a prissy girl and she didn't want people to know that she was beginning to fall short of the person they had her pegged out to be. Truthfully, Tommoi didn't even know the person that she was anymore.

Tommoi laid down onto her pillow and thought about her baby. Storme. She had had Tommoi's entire face, she was so pretty. Tommoi deeply regretted giving her baby up for adoption. What had she been thinking? Moi didn't know how she was gonna live with herself for the remainder of her life. Storme was on her mind every single second.

Tommoi thought about her mother. What would Ms. Bernadette have thought? Her mother would have been so mad at her. So disappointed in her choices. Bernadette couldn't have been resting peacefully. The way that things had turned out for Tommoi, she wouldn't have been surprised if her mother's soul was still wandering this earth angrily.

Natasha banged on Tommoi's bedroom door, some more. "Tommoi, open up the door now!" she yelled. "Oh, God. I hope I don't find her in there like Mommy," Tasha could be heard murmuring. Natasha banged some more, louder and harder this time around. "Tommoi, open this fucking door before I kick it down!" she shouted.

Sighing, Moi finally rolled out of her bed, dragging herself over to the door and opening it. Tasha stood there, her eyes wide with concern. "What's your problem? I've been at the door knocking for a whole five minutes! You can't hear?" she asked her little sister. Tommoi just sighed again and turned to walk back over to her bed.

Flopping down onto it face first, Tommoi let out a long and miserable groan. "Look, Tommoi. I know you're still going through it, but you're gonna have to pull yourself together. What's done is done. You chose to give the baby up," Natasha said. Tommoi lifted her head up to look at her sister, with her eyes full of tears.

"Natasha, you don't understand," she told her sister. Tasha raised an eyebrow. "I don't understand? Of all people Tommoi, you think that I don't understand? I understand perfectly well, honey boo boo. Are we forgetting that I was forced to get an abortion at the age of fifteen?" she asked, rhetorically. It was her first time making a reference to what had happened to her, since that day she told the family.

Tommoi looked at her sister, half surprised and half uncomfortable. "It's not the same though, Tasha. I -" Natasha didn't allow Moi to finish. "It is though. I know what it's like to lose a child. Thinking you're doing the right thing in the moment, just to realize shortly after that maybe it wasn't the right thing," she stated.

Tommoi was now confused. "Are you saying that you wanted to keep that baby?" she asked her sister. Natasha took her time, deliberating what to say next. "At the time, no. I didn't want to keep it. I was raped, Moi. I had been impregnated with no... I had no say in any of it, sis. So, yes. At first I wanted nothing more than to get rid of that baby," Tasha said.

She took a seat on the bed, beside Tommoi. "But then, I became a little attached. I didn't mean to. But right before your father made me get rid of it, I couldn't help but think about how it was my baby, too. Mine. Came from me. How I had conceived was fucked up... But a baby is a baby and is still lovable," Natasha said. She sounded hopeful. And Tommoi imagined at the time that her sister had been.

Natasha's eyes fogged up a little and Tommoi placed a hand on her sister's knee. "You don't have to continue," she let her know in a soft tone. She felt fucked up for what her father had done to her big sister all them years. "Just keep strong," Tasha said to Tommoi.

Natasha then stood up and started for the door, intending to go back to her business. "Tasha?" Tommoi called to her sister before she could walk out of the door. Natasha turn to look back at Tommoi. "I'm sorry for what my father did to you," Moi applogized. Natasha just gave a half smile. "You have nothing to be sorry for," she replied and walked out, closing Tommoi's room door behind her.
*****
Tommoi walked over to Allerton looking for Static. He and O-Lok had been mad close, now he and Tommoi was. He sold her bud. She found Static standing on a corner, chatting with a few other YUS members. Moi recognized Bizz and Fats. She motioned Static over to her.

He approached her, hesitantly. "Static, let me buy a dime," she said to him. They made the transaction quick and sweet. Tommoi was ready to be on her way immediately after, but Static stopped her before she could walk away.

"Yo, Tommoi. I don't mind selling to you. But don't be coming around here looking for me like that again. I don't want niggas getting the wrong idea," he mentioned to her. Tommoi frowned. "What you mean?" she asked him. Static sighed, scratching his head.

"I'm saying, you used to go with my mans. You coming over here checking for me don't look too good," he stated. Tommoi sucked her teeth, brushing Static off. Wasn't nobody checking for his little short, redbone ass. He needed to stop it. "Whatever, Static," she said to him.

"I'm serious, Tommoi. Just call or text me next time. I'll just come meet you," he told her. "Well, I don't have your number. I lost all my contacts," she lied. The truth was that she had never saved his number in the first place. Static shook his head at her, knowing the game. "Aight, well I still got yours. I'll text you later. This time, save my shit," he instructed. But Tommoi had already walked off. She had her bud, so she was good. Until she needed some more.