Painted Smiles [completed]

September 25

I walked into the new commons with a confident composure. Every since I've let go of Dolly, things have been easy. I had gotten used to living without her during the summer, so this wasn't such a big deal.

I wore my favorite type of outfit. A flannel and high tops, and black pants as always. I loved wearing stuff like this, but I felt so gross. This is what I wanted to wear all the time but I felt like I looked masculine.

I sat down beside Sasha and Gretchen. They had already occupied a table while I was finishing up my homework in Mrs. Finch's room (so I couldn't get there in time).

I saw Dolly pass us by, and it looked like she was getting dangerously close on purpose. Anger surged through my body whenever she passed by. Her provocation was certainly working because I had taken notice.

Sasha would try and avert my gaze, but I just couldn't accept that it was over. I wanted a fight, whether it was verbal or physical, and I wanted to finally end things.

However, I had managed to get by without saying a word to her. I didn't want to grab her attention. It would satisfy what she was looking for.

We headed to band and I felt at ease. I felt like music was my basics, but I was never very into the flute. I do like the instrument, and I am good at it, but I don't feel connected to it.

We played petty songs the whole time. I doubted I would ever play most of them in front of people more than a few times, so all of this practicing felt so useless.

After class, I went to civics. This was the last day with the substitute. Although her young complexion and gorgeous smile made her seem like a good person, her ignorance made the class very frustrating. I had to spend two weeks with someone who had only taught social studies for a few years. Triple D was the coolest and I was very excited to have her back. Not only was she a great teacher, but I knew she was very pro gay rights and such, so I know I can talk to her about it whenever.

We took out first test in civics. There were a few questions I was iffy about, but I felt like I did a decent job. I would be happy with anything above 90%.

After class, Dakota looked over at me. I thought she was going to comment on my eyeliner, since I had made it very bold today, but she decided to be normal.

"Haven't apologized to Dolly yet?"

"Why would I? She's clearly in the wrong here. Besides, I'm tired of apologizing for her mistakes."

I knew since the moment she rejected me that now I finally had logical proof against her. I didn't lash out at her. Sure, I angrily debated with her, but she messed up. She lied to me, and would rather go to homecoming with a random guy than with someone who has loved her for so long.

Honestly, I don't think I'll ever apologize. Not even through tears and begging would I feel sorry. She deserves whatever pain she feels, if any.

"You should be the bigger person."

"Correction: I'm the bigger fish! And what do fish do? Just keep swimming" I waddled around to embarrass her and she rolled her eyes.

We headed to math together, walking up two flights of stairs. Her big, black combat boots hit the ground confidently while my white high tops padded around.

"Fine. By the way I have two candidates for you. Evelyn the flute player and Scott from civics."

I let out a sigh and looked over at her with a face that said, "really?" Still, both of the people she mentioned were pretty cute.

"My friend Chloe had a crush on Evelyn and I think Scott is hopeless for me."

She took my response into account and then smirked. "Wait, why can't you like Evelyn if a friend used to like her? Sounds dumb to me!"