Painted Smiles [completed]

October 27

I was definitely tired this morning. I got barely any sleep because I was busy toiling all night and morning to finish my math homework. It wasn't even worth it. The material proved to be useless for today.

I got to school and finished a little smidgen of homework during skinny hour. I finished, thankfully, but I was surprised I was focused enough to finish the work. I'm slowly slipping into a slump that pulls me through a train of thought whenever I am presented with any shape or form of work. Even simple homework like watching videos felt like crossing the Pacific Ocean!

During band, we practiced our regular songs. We were really good at the fast songs but horrible at our only slow song. It was a shame. I really enjoyed playing slow songs.

After band was obviously civics. I wasn't too nervous about class today. We had our debate, but I was extremely confident about it. I love arguing with people, so this was my day! Plus, I came prepared. I went a bit overboard and wrote notecards so I wouldn't run out of debate topics.

I walked into class with confidence, but was startled by Chelsea when she popped up in front of me and asked for money. Printing costed a quarter or so at Fair Creek.

"Sorry, I'm broke," I chuckled in amusement as she frantically ripped apart her backpack in search for coins. She found a penny and a nickel, but it wasn't enough. However, someone did lend her a quarter and she ran to print out her essay.

I took my seat and chatted with Triple D. She was beginning to be a favorite teacher of mine, which was always a great relationship to have with an adult. Adults are often better than kids. They still joke around and gossip, but it's more mature and composed. Triple D was very silly, but she could be dead serious when she needed to be.

Chelsea came back just in time for the debate. We all got into our circle and started. The topic was, "Which branch of the government could our nation most easily do without?" My answer was the legislative branch. I had convinced Chelsea to do the legislative branch as well, but she was more in favor of the judicial branch. Still, I did extremely well, and she did pretty good too.

She sat beside me during the debate, watching me carefully whenever I spoke. I did the same to her, getting a good look at her. She looked so insanely pretty. Her eyes, her hair, her lips, her fashion sense, her height. I loved every inch, which was saying a lot because of her height. She was probably as insecure as me on the inside, but she's much better than I. She's beautiful.

After the debate, there was only a few minutes of class left. Triple D mentioned the republican debate that was airing tomorrow in the evening, so I confronted her with my issue.

Awkwardly, I mumbled, "Uh, my TV isn't exactly working... Y'know, because of remodeling my house."

She nodded, knowing my situation because my mother complained about it all of the time, but before she could tell me what my alternative was, I felt a tap on my shoulder.

I turned around and looked up to see Chelsea. She had her galaxy backpack on and was standing gingerly in front of me. "You should just come over to my house!"

My eyes widened at her offer. Sure, we were basically best friends at this point, but I really wasn't expecting this. Obviously, I took her offer and told Triple D that my issue was probably taken care of.

After class, I said goodbye to Chelsea and greeted Dakota by the stairs. We started climbing up the flights and eventually got up to the third floor.

"Apparently I'm going to her house tomorrow."

"Republican debate and chill?" She replied with a snicker.

I blushed but didn't reply. I didn't know how to. I had a huge feeling that Chelsea already knew I liked her, and the fact that she wouldn't make a big deal out of it means something, but I can't shake off the fact that she likes this random guy.

In math, we had a substitute!!! It was probably one of the best days in math I've had in a while. She didn't teach us anything, sadly, but she was the perfect amount of strict that I was able to focus perfectly in the dead silence that surrounded me. I got a good chunk of my homework done.

During lunch, I chatted with a few new people. Half of our (Gretchen and I) lunch table was gone, so a few new girls came in to take their place for the day. They were all really nice and funny, but their gossip was very intense. They were saying a sophomore exchange student had sex with another exchange student, how this guy was going to die from AIDS really soon, and they talked a ton about who's dating who. I could barely handle it!

Thankfully, the headache I got from lunch was eased by the placid environment of math. I played slow chill out music while working, and I thought I got almost done with my homework.

After class, I headed straight to English. Mr. St. Ann was quite the treat. He was always in a good mood and just brightened the last part of my school day. We turned in an assignment and talked about literature terminology. Basically, we had a list of words like plot, narrator, symbol, and irony, and we defined them all and gave examples for the tougher ones.

As always, I had a great time. Seeing and talking to Nicki was refreshing. I could tone down my flamboyant attitude and just lay back for a second.

After school, I waited in Ms. Fool's room until my mother came back. My grandmother had surgery for her eyesight and she's approximately 70 and can barely walk. My mother had to go with her.

It wasn't all that bad, though. Right when my mother was suppose to arrive, Chelsea waltzed into the biology classroom and beamed at me. It was quite the pleasant surprise.

I packed up my things and sat outside in the hallway as we waited for my mother. When she arrived, Chelsea and I chatted in the classroom for half an hour or so. We talked about our favorite tv shows and all of that fun stuff!

I asked my mother if I could go over to her house tomorrow, and she replied saying she would mull it over.

I had to leave early to get to my therapist's appointment. I said goodbye to Chelsea and started driving away!

Today's session was really weird, for some reason. I usually tell her how I horribly messed up somehow or how someone was being an ass to me, but today I only really talked about the nerves and anxiety that are involved with liking Chelsea. It was so stressful. I had to keep most of my feelings about her inside my heart.

Still, she said I was making outstanding progress. After a year and a half of therapy, I was finally getting better! After years of suffering, I'm finally freeing myself.

She said she was proud of me and wanted to move our sessions to once a month. I told her I would think about it, but I had already decided in my mind that I wanted to wait a while to see if anything happens.

After that, I drove home. I tried to finish my math homework, which was impossible because of the gross amount of it, but I got super close to finishing by 11 pm. Keep in mind that I still need to study for a test I have in civics tomorrow! Ugh, I really am starting to get the 'finals frights'.

Still, I went to bed with good thoughts. I was excited and slightly nervous about what adventures tomorrow would bring me. Maybe something will happen, but probably not. Either way, I'm happy.

P.S. People Better Not Show This To Her

"You're never gonna love me

So what's the use?

What's the point in playing

A game you're gonna lose?

What's the point in saying

You love me like a friend?

What's the point in saying

It's never gonna end?"

~Marina & The Diamonds
"Lies"