Painted Smiles [completed]

Ocbtober 2

I wasn't expecting a Friday to be such an emotional roller coaster.

I decided to look decent today, contrary to most Friday's. I wore my favorite a sweater: a beige sweater with a raccoon on it, and white high tops. I looked girly, but not too girly. Perfect.

During skinny hour I was so happy for no reason. It was Friday and all, but I was the opposite of melancholy.

Everything was so still and perfect that it didn't feel real.

After doing Gretchen's homework for a cinnamon scone, we headed to band. I was excited to continue my piccolo playing. It wasn't that impressive, but I thought it made me seem just a bit more annoying. Just what I wanted!

Band was simple and easy. I played a bit, but it was difficult. Playing flute is like walking around but playing the piccolo is like running. It's hard to keep up with everyone without getting tired.

During band I was interviewed by some upperclassmen about having my mother be a teacher at the school I go to. I answered most questions evasively since it wasn't that different having a teacher as a parent.

Civics was much more interesting. I had suddenly realized that I had forgotten to do my homework when Triple D announced a homework quiz. I'm sure she could tell I didn't mean to by the look on my face. I failed the quiz but at least I learned my lesson.

Then we did a House of Representatives and Senate learning activity. I was partnered with Sean by coincidence and we were on the teachers side. The 'debate' was about phones. The House of Representatives were the students and the teachers were the Senate.

After a bit more 'learning', we did our Fun Friday activity.  She used a random group generator to pick out groups.

I was in a group with Chelsea (thankfully), and three other girls. She sat beside me and we played the game. We got a pile of candy and a dice. The rules were that during the first round you could take candy if you rolled a one or a six. For the second round you could steal candy from someone else if you rolled a one or a six and knew their name and their candy.

We started playing. Chelsea got two pieces of candy, hiding it especially from me since she knew I was competitive, and another girl got the rest. The second round was much more intense.

I only remembered that Chelsea had a Reese's peanut butter cup. I hated peanut butter, but I rolled a one and took it from her. It suddenly became a new game itself to get the Reese's back. It went back and forth all around the circle, until I rolled a six in the last ten seconds and retrieved it. I was beyond happy, and Chelsea gave me a buddy-hug. I felt like a queen!

I couldn't stop staring at her, which I hated. I hated it. I hated feeling things. I wanted to stop myself from moving on from Dolly so quickly. I was injured and asking for more pain. Ironically, thinking about her made it all feel less unethical.

I left the class walking beside her. "I hate Reese's, actually..." I chuckled and she laughed along. "Do you want it?"

She gave me a strange look but slowly took the chocolate candy. Then she nudged me and continued walking when I stopped to go another way.

"Thanks, Claire!"

I smiled to myself. I felt proud.

Dakota was absent today so I continued on to math by myself. I couldn't stop thinking about Chelsea, but eventually I forced it out when I got to math.

We went over our tests and I almost aced it! When I took the formidable test, I thought I was going to fail it. I felt so incredibly happy! My other friends didn't do so well, so I didn't rub it in their faces. Still, even the teacher applauded me!

During lunch I thought more about the people at my lunch table. They were always so upbeat and talkative. I wondered if they ever shut up. Did they ever get tired of blabbing?

Many questions ran through my head. For the first time, Gretchen seemed to be at my level. I wasn't sure what that meant, but people usually don't regress. I was in for trouble.

When I walked into English I had remembered the whole day as if it was my favorite drama movie of the year. I've often been told that my life would be a great tv show. I completely agree.

I wondered if I was obvious. I've also been told that it's obvious when I like someone. I think secretly most people knew my sexuality as well. Just today in civics someone in my group had mentioned that I sounded like Tyler Oakley.

We read more of To Kill A Mocking Bird and we were getting close to the ending. It wasn't very eventful anymore, but it was still a decent read.

After school, I said bye to Nicki, Sean, and Mr. St. Ann. They all seemed to be growing closer to me, which was a warming thought.

Again, I saw Chelsea on the way out. She thanked me for the Reese's and I said it was nothing. Then I went to the science department. I saw Dolly on the way back.

"Hey, Claire," she politely greeted, but continued walking.

I continued walking as well. I did not respond or even show signs of hearing her. Silence was my best weapon and I would use it to my advantage.

I passed a few more friends along the way and greeted them. Then I reached Finch's room. She asked me how my day was and I told her all about it.

I told her all about Chelsea, my test, and just the good things in general. I told her that Dolly wasn't a bother to me anymore, and she said she was proud.

P.S. This Week Was Decent

"You were my conscience

So solid

Now you're like water

And we started drowning

Not like we'd sink any further

But I let my heart go

And it's somewhere down at the bottom

But I'll get a new one

And come back for the hope

That you've stolen."

~Paramore
"Monster"
(I've been loving them more ever since)