"What do you mean you fucked up?" My fear starts to kick in
He sits there crying. Looking so vulnerable
"Michael?" I nudge him
He takes a deep breath.
"I did it again" he finally looks me in the eye.
"You did what again?" I start to tear up. I know what's happening. I know what he did.
"Cheated on you" he takes my hand but I pull away.
"What the hell Michael. You asked me to marry you this morning." I break down.
"I know. I'm sorry Jess, I love you"
"When did this happen Michael? Are you kidding me. If you loved me you wouldn't have done this again"
I'm full of anger but not as much has he is full of shit.
"That night after our date" he licks his lips. "I don't know what's wrong with me Jess"
"Are you fucking joking? You promised me a happy life. I hate you! You've ruined every single part of me. This is the second time Michael. What is it? Am I not good enough for you? Is this all fake? Because if it is you deserve a fucking Oscar for that performance."
"Jess don't be like this. I'm really sorry. I know I have a problem."
"How am I meant to act Michael? You couldn't of seriously thought I'd be okay with this"
"I thought you loved me"
"Same here. But you've fucked up again. And I don't want this anymore. I can't deal with you shit"
"Jess! Please, hear me out"
"No, you don't deserve to be heard out. Go fuck yourself" I get out of the car and slam the door.
He doesn't even try to stop me. He takes off straight away faster than I could go back.
Why has this happened again? I thought we were happy.
My house is too far to walk so the only thing I can do is walk back to Jan's.
I can't walk I'm too angry so I start to run.
I feel a drop of water touch my nose.
Just my luck.
Before I knew it rain was pouring from the sky.
So here we are again, back to where my life is a storm.
I on the door drenching wet.
Luke opens the door.
"Why are you standing here?" He looks me up and down.
I just fall into his arms.
"Hey, it's okay" he hugs me back.
"I'm sorry Jess" Jan walks over.
"Why didn't you tell me?" I sob into her chest.
"It's not my place Jess" she rubs my back.
I fall to the ground. My mind is fuzzy. My heart is full of hurt and I can't tell which way is up and which way is down.
I can feel my heart racing. And I can't breathe.
"Jess, are you okay?" I just hear Luke.
"I think she's having a panic attack" Jan seems calm.
"Okay Jess, you need to calm down. Just try and breathe" Luke sits me up.
I try to slow down my breaths.
I shut my eyes to let out all the tears.
Bad idea.
All I see is the memories i have with Michael. The good and the bad.
I calm down.
"We did he do this to me again?" I look at them for an answer.
"We don't know" Jan takes a deep breath.
I've lost all respect for Michael. It's a shame I still love him.
