Empty Thoughts

The Rule of Firsts

There's nothing worse than firsts

You can never hate your first
You'll always forgive your first
You'll always remember them

It's the kiss everyone asks about
The love everyone want to know the story of
Oh there's nothing worst than firsts

That's how you poisoned me
You gave me so many firsts
You were my first love
The first girl I fully accepted being with
The first one where I wasn't scared of being gay

And of course there's always that kiss
It wasn't my first kiss
But when people ask the story of my first kiss
Yours is the one I think of

I'm not even sure why
But your kiss is the first one that counted
Everyone before you wasn't quite timed right
Or it wasn't the right person
And those after you didn't exactly fit
You poisoned my lips in the most beautiful way

You're the first girl I trusted
With every part of me
My body
And my soul

Firsts
Firsts
Firsts

Can you hear the trees mocking?
The wind whistling?
The birds singing about my pain?

"Firsts" they say, "nothing like your
Firsts
Firsts
Firsts"

You never quite get yourself back after that
Part of you will always be left in your firsts
It will always leave a fear of being hurt again

Everything aligns perfectly
In our sequences of words
That hide us from reality
The quiet
It's simply more pleasing
This is all part of that stupid rule of firsts

That's why I don't hate you
Why I still feel this way...
....however it is that I'm feeling
It's why we're talking through these little pieces of truth
Instead of face to face
Why I'm scared you'll decide to ask
All because of the rule of firsts