Empty Thoughts

Suicidal Prayers

How painful could it be

To simply slip away

Today the thoughts were howling

So I stole a little pill

It was green and small and round

With a big fancy name

And a big fat warning label

"Do not mix with alcohol"

I swallowed the tiny thing

And felt relief flooding through me

But then I began to think

Anxiety gone

All that was left was my depression

And suicidal tendencies

What if

I took a few more

Maybe the whole bottle

And what if

With it

I drank 6 beers

A bottle of Pinot Grigio

And the small remaining amount

Of blackberry wine

Maybe that would be enough to kill me

These thoughts flooding faster

Than the blood on my wrists

These suicidal tendencies

Will be the end of me

A rope

A cliff

A gun

Too difficult

Too inconvenient

Too impossible

A pill seems the prefect way

A blade is far too messy

But the  pill will keep me pretty

No blood or difficult clean-up

The pills the answer to it all

Thst little green tablet may answer

My suicidal prayers