How did it come to this
The point where I can't breathe unless I cut open my skin
Where I can't eat unless I throw it all up
Where one person says one little thing
And I blow up like a grenade
I snap
I swear
And then I run off to the bathroom
Where I break down into horrible sobs
Sitting on the floor against the wall
Muffling the awful sounds so that no one can hear
Black streaking down my face
I scratch at my skin
And rip out my hair
My knuckles are bruised from punching walls
Once again everyone starts to leave
But it's okay because I'm better off alone
No one to hurt but myself
I used to be able to shut my emotions out
To just stop feeling
It was one of the best times of my life
But now, no matter how hard I try I'm just trapped in this whirlpool
And as soon as I start being able to shut myself out again
Something happens that breaks me more than before
And I shake
And sob uncontrollably
I'm at the point where I'm sick of fighting
Passed the point of not caring if I die
I would welcome death with open arms
Making plan after plan
And only one person cares
One person asks if I'm okay
Only one person can calm me down enough to have me promise to live through one more night
I'm just waiting for the day where she gives up on me too
The day I can finally just let go
I'm already dying
I'd rather speed it up a little
This death is too slow and painful to endure
YOU ARE READING
Empty Thoughts
DiversosJust an odd collection of thoughts in my brain that sometimes come spilling out of my mind