Empty Thoughts

Happiness

Today I've decided

I want to be happy

So starting tonight

I'm saying goodbye

To the pain

And suffering

And hate

Every time

I want to hurt

I will simply mark my skin

Not with a blade

But with a pen

And then I'll walk away

And I'll do something else

Talk to someone

Who doesn't make me sad

Talk about something

That makes me feel

The happiness that used to come

So easily

So consistently

The other day

I saw a picture

Of a girl

I was jealous of her

Because she was happy

She was careless

She was free

Sitting there with a boy

Laughing

And I knew

It was real laughter

I knew because I remember it

I remember that night

That moment

That girl

Was me

And I miss her

I want her back

I want to be her again

So every time

I'm feeling sad

And want to die

To never leave my room

I'll mark my skin

With a pen

And as the days go on

The pen will fade

And new marks will come

But there will come a day

When I have no marks on my skin

Because one day

I won't need them any more

I won't need any sort of distraction

Or any help

Because one day

I'll wake up

And I'll realize

That I'm happy

That day will come one day sooner

Because I started to change things today

I stopped putting it off

I decided today

That I want to be happy