Empty Thoughts

Wishing

Numbness fills me
As I burn from the inside out
My eyes hot and glossy
My throat tight
Gasping for air
I curl up
In a million blankets
Wishing for you

Wishing for you to come
And make everything better
Wishing for you to hold me tight
And never let go
For you to wipe my eyes
To tell me I'm okay
I wish for you

I wish for you to go
To walk away
And leave me be
I wish for you to protect yourself
To forget me
And to move on
But love, I wish for you to stay

I wish for you to love me
To be there while I learn to love myself
I wish for your hand to hold
In times where I'm barely holding on to reality
When reality is real fucked up
I wish for you

But more than that
I wish for myself
For my hot eyes to cool and dry
To be able to breathe
I wish to be strong
So that I may be there for you
And be there for myself
To protect myself

To protect myself from all evils
All hells
From myself
I wish for everything
Everything to just stop
To end
To die

I wish for the world to be filled
To be filled again with light
With hope
Happiness
And joy

I wish to go back
When butterflies played with me
When they taught me how to spread my wings
By spreading their own
When they taught me love and patience

I wish for it all
But after it all
Everything comes back to you
I wish for you