How Could I Have Known? (A Josh Ramsay Fan Fiction)

Part XIV

I thanked the stylists and balanced on my new shoes. I was off to find Josh when I heard a voice in the distance and the tune it was creating was familiar. I knew it from somewhere. I began to hum along to it and as I walked it became louder and higher as it reached ascending notes. Each octave was easy for me to reach but the voice kept getting thinner. I turned on last corner and slammed into Josh. He was the voice! "There she is!" He paused. "Wow. You look, amazing." I knew I was blushing. He leaned in for a kiss but I had to avoid his mouth because of the lip gloss. I ended up getting kissed on the neck which wasn't too bad after all. "Sorry," I said, "lip gloss." He laughed. He told me next time I could opt for lip balm instead. I asked him about the tune he was singing and he explained that it was from the music classes we both took. I knew it was familiar! He began to sing it again; really it was a warm up, and it ranged so high many guys couldn't get past the first two or three repetitions. This is where Josh had trouble. After he gave up I kept going. It felt good singing outside of the shower where others could actually hear me. I'm glad I never gave up my voice, but I miss using it. It was raw and airy so my sound wasn't all there but Josh was more than impressed. "I can't believe you gave up on your voice." He said after I stopped singing. "You are phenomenal! How can you keep it hidden?" "I don't keep it hidden, not all the time." I retorted. He stared deep into my eyes silently questioning me. I had no idea how to respond. "Why don't you start singing again?" He whispered. "I don't know." I looked down. "It's hard to go back to something that molded who you are. I know it sounds stupid, but my life is science now nothing can change what I love." "But, I thought you loved music and the emotion behind it. When we were in that group together I didn't understand how someone as young as you could make everyone in the room emotional by singing. It took me years to get that, yet you have it at your fingertips. You're blessed, Simoya." I looked down and shook my head. I wanted to cry because I really loved to make music but it was painful at the same time. He's right the emotions I feel when I open my mouth don't only affect the listener. I take most of the pain and I just don't want to face it anymore. Josh pulled me into a hug; it felt like a forever hug. His body heat burned into my chest. I felt as cold as I did most of the time but I soon warmed up and didn't want to let go of him. He spoke softly, "I'm sorry for getting you upset. I just want you to do what makes you happy. Whatever you choose I will be there to support you all the way." He lifted my chin slightly and pressed his lips against my forehead. I looked up into his icy eyes, "Thank you." I said as I smiled.