How Could I Have Known? (A Josh Ramsay Fan Fiction)

Part XXII

When we got to my house. I grabbed a water bottle from the fridge and took out my pain medication. Josh frowned. "You okay?" "Yeah, I just don't want it to come on too strong." "I'm sorry." He wrapped his arms around me and placed his lips on my cheek. "It's not your fault." I sighed into his ear. "I shouldn't have left you alone." "You didn't, you were right there! Don't do this to yourself." I began to sob. "Don't do this." I whispered. We just stood there, silently. Our bodies were pressed together and tears running down my cheeks. Josh wiped them away with his thumb. "I'm sorry."

After I calmed down I went up stairs to shower and change. I struggled to get my shirt off because of the stitches. When we were still at the hospital the nurse helped me get dressed. I didn't want Josh to see the scares, he didn't need to anyway; they would only make him upset. After five minutes he called up stairs. "Are you okay? Do you need help?" "I'm fine!" I answered. I heard him climb up the squeaky stairs and push open the door. "What are you doing?" He questioned. My shirt was still around one arm and my neck. My pants were unbuttoned and slid down to my mid thigh. He walked right up to me. "Hold on." He said soothingly. "Let me help you." Gently he lifted my arm up, I winced but he slid my shirt off. He looked at my battered body; his eyes burned through the bruises and scrapes on me. Tentatively he reached his hand towards my stomach and placed his fingers against my skin. Josh dropped his hand to his side. "Wait here a bit." He ordered me. As quickly as he left my room he came back with a towel.

I wrapped the towel around my body and he slowly got to his knees. He made me sit on the bed as he tugged my jeans off. I still had my underwear on though. "Do you trust me?" He asked. I looked away blushing, and then I looked back into his eyes. "Yes." I nodded. I stood up and he traced my legs up to my underwear. Gently he pulled at the sides and I felt a shiver over take my body. My heart was pounding as his hands touched my skin. He stood up and I stepped out of my underwear. He walked around me and pulled the towel down; my hands gave way to it until it sat at my hips. Josh un-hooked my bra and moved the straps down my shoulders careful not to snag the stitches on the left side. He moved the left strap off of my arm as I held the middle of my bra to my chest. Next came the right strap. I couldn't help it; I wanted him to touch me so when he reached around me to take it I held his hand. I could feel him step closer and move my messy hair to my left side. He tried to steady the twitching and shaking but it was no good. Slowly he snaked his free hand around my waist, I let his other hand go so he placed it on my hip where the towel was sagging.

Josh placed his lips to my neck and I could feel his breath escape his nose. Warmth spread from everywhere he connected with me. He kissed my shoulder once, twice then moved up to my jaw. His right hand on my hip dragged the towel down further, but I just couldn't let it go. His left hand traced my side and went up to where I still held my bra. Josh tugged at my bra willing it to be free, but I refused. Again he pulled at it. I gave in. Still clutching the towel I held it close to my body. His hands moved over my chest making me moan with pleasure. I didn't know anyone could make me feel this way. I didn't know Josh would make me feel this way.

My body was still twitching and shaking but that didn't stop him from walking around me again. Placing his hands on my sides again and pulling my bare chest against his. Strong arms encircled me completely and his fingers traced my back delicately. Josh's lips did quick little circles on mine. The fist that held the towel to my body dug into a bruise so I flattened it out. My other hand crept around his neck pulling his lips onto mine with a soft moan. "I want this." My mind said. "I want Josh." It said again. Josh started to slow down his kisses, but that didn't stop me. I've never kissed him without his kisses in return, but I felt in control. All of a sudden I felt butterflies in my stomach, and I was nervous. Josh backed away and reached for his shirt. As soon as his body left mine I heard the towel hit the floor. I tried to reach down for it, but he caught me and gazed into my eyes. "It's okay." He said. "You don't need it." His hands ran over my chest. I inhaled deeply as he pulled my body towards his. I bit my lip, this was really happening. We were really going to do this.