How Could I Have Known? (A Josh Ramsay Fan Fiction)

Part XXVII

I just sat there. My throat closed again and my eyes were brimming with salty tears. “Shh shh.” Josh said as his arms tightened around me again. I cried into his shirt for a good twenty minutes, that’s when the pizza guy arrived. Josh got up and answered the door and paid the guy. He came back to the couch with a couple plates and the box of pizza. I was really hungry. I took small bites of my piece. Chewing took too much energy. I just wanted to sleep. It was only one in the afternoon so I really couldn’t go to bed.

Josh and I just stayed in. We kept the T.V. off, occasionally one of us would say something, usually Josh. I didn’t mind. It let me cool down and relax. It was too a point where his head was on a pillow in my lap and I was just brushing through his hair with my fingers. Josh’s eyes were closed and the corners of his lips were tilted up in a smile. I couldn’t help but press mine against them lightly and smile. He brought his hand to my chin and placed my upper lip between both of his. This was bliss. Josh then sat up on his knees and leaned me backwards with his lips. He backed away and sat down next to me and put his arm around me. I, however, wasn’t done.

I sat up on my knees placing a kiss on his lips and pushing him back. There was something in me. Some sort of fire that wasn’t staying back anymore. I placed my knees on either side of him and snaked my hands onto his shoulders, massaging them. I felt his large hands on my sides. I focused on his lips, they were sweet from the Coke he had sipped. I trailed down his jaw and to his neck and he let out a soft moan. I kissed back up to his mouth and paused just before putting my lips over his. I could have sworn if I wasn’t hurt right now Josh would have taken over. I could tell he was missing this. I was never able to give him the same fire he gave me.

My hands traveled down his chest and pulled up his shirt. This was so different, me: in control. It was great! But then Josh began getting restless. Slowly he was making his way on top of me. Once he was finally there he was not holding back. His kisses were deeper and longer. Our bodies were pressed together so tightly I almost couldn’t breathe, but it was worth it.

After both of us calmed down a bit Josh and I just sat there. We dimmed the lights, brought pillows and blankets and laid on the floor. He kissed my lips and propped himself on his elbow. Josh traced the lining of my bra and smoothed out my hair as he hummed softly. I looked up into his crystal blue eyes, even in the little lighting we had his eyes glowed. Josh went quiet and put his palm on my neck. He leaned down and enveloped my lips with his. This was bliss.

 I kissed him back and brought him closer to me. He kissed down my neck and got on top of me again. This time he just looked down at me. “What?” I whispered. “Nothing. Just thinking.” He said quietly as he pushed a loose strand of my hair back. “About what?” I questioned. He smiled. “Stuff.” “Do you want to tell me about it?” “Sure.” He stated. I looked up at him expectedly. “Oh, you mean now? I’m not going to tell you now.” He chuckled. “Why not?” I asked. Josh paused. “I think it’s better if I tell you another time. I think it will be worth the wait.” “Uh-huh.” I breathed.