A Trophy Father's Trophy... Daughter

Chapter Twenty Six

Chapter Twenty Six

Kellin's POV

My head was spinning. My palms were sweaty and I was almost in tears. I wasn't just upset anymore, I was angry. I knew inside that Hunter was going to chose Justin, I just didn't want to believe it. But now, now it's done. And Justin had made it clear that he really didn't want me to have really anything to do with Hunter now. 

I walked down the road and I stopped and looked into the sky, realizing it had begun raining. I watched everything around me getting drowned by the rain, and my clothes were soaked all the way through. The clouds were getting darker and darker and I was beginning to have a hard time seeing through the rain. 

I squinted my eyes and began to turn around.

But it all happened so fast.

I saw headlights.

And I heard a honking. 

I turned my head.

And then my world went black.

Hunter's POV

I stood there silently next to his bed. The rest of the guys sat in the corner of the room in chairs. It was the same hospital. We had just been here. And we were back. The rain poured down the window, so you could barely see out of it. 

I felt a hand on my shoulder. I turned expecting to see Justin, but it wasn't. It was Jesse.

"Jesse... Just... Please." I really wasn't in the mood for talking right now.

"Hunter. Come on. Let's go take a walk. You need to walk around a little. And I want to talk to you, okay?" 

"Okay." I whispered quietly, almost too quiet to even hear. But he put his arm around my shoulder and led me out the door of the hospital room. We walked down the halls for what seemed like hours. We finally got to a waiting room that was empty, and we sat down. 

He looked at me, and I hung my head. I felt tears begin to gather in my eyes as he put his hand over mine,

"Hunter. You don't keep having to be strong for everyone else. You try to do that too much. You can't. This is hard on all of us, and I know it is on you too."

But before he finished the last few words, that's when I lost it. My head fell into my hands and I felt the tears falling down my cheeks like a waterfall. I sobbed, and cried, and cried. Jesse lifted up my head, and placed it gently on his shoulder. I wrapped my arms around his torso and cried into his shirt. He wrapped his arms around my shaking body and didn't say a word. I was glad. I didn't want to talk.

"What's going on?" I heard Justin's voice. 

"Not right now Justin. Not right now..." Jesse said in a hushed tone. 

"But... What's... Please...?" He was struggling with not knowing exactly what was going on. He had that problem. He had to know every little detail. Every little thing that went on in my life. It was awesome at times, but at other times, it annoyed me.

Jesse sighed. He knew Justin wouldn't leave us alone until he explained at least a little bit. "Hunter, I'll be right back. Are you gonna be okay for a few minutes?" He cooed in my ear. I nodded my head, unable to speak with such a lump in my throat. He slowly got up and I rested my head on the back of the chair, as I curled up on it. Through the blurriness of the tears in my eyes, I saw Jesse and Justin talking. A lot of hand motions were going on. But truthfully, I didn't care. Let them do what they want. 

They seemed really occupied. I quietly got up from the chair and walked to the bathroom to clean myself up a little bit, because I knew my makeup must have been halfway down my face by now. I sniffed, and looked around for a sign for the bathroom. I couldn't find one.

"Excuse me," I asked a nurse passing by, "Where are the bathrooms?"

"Down the hall and to the left." She said quickly and rushed away.

"Down the hall and to the left. Down the hall and to the left." I repeated to myself as I searched for it.

I finally spotted it and oulled open the door. The lights were out, and I found the switch on the side of the wall. I saw my reflection. I looked like a clown from a horror movie. Streaks of black eyeliner down my cheeks and covering both of my eyes entirely. I grabbed a few paper towels and turned on the sink, and began wiping my face off as I tried to calm down. 

I reached into my Sleeping with Sirens drawstring bag to get my brush, and something cut my finger. I quickly pulled my hand back and saw the blood come slowly out of the tiny hole in my finger. I opened the bag wide, and saw a glimmering. There it was. It followed me.

Hey Hunter. I'm here. Remember me? Yes, of course you do.

Go away. Don't bother me. I don't need you anymore. I've put everyone through enough already.

Oh, but you don't really want me to go away. You want me here. Now. At this very moment. The little cut on your finger? I wanted to give you a taste of what you're missing. We all get addicted to something that takes away the pain.

I know. But... I don't want to. I do, but I can't.

You worthless freak.You want me so bad right now. Look at you, biting your stupid lip so hard because you're trying to hard to fight. But why? Don't fight it. Don't fight me. I'm still stained with blood. Your blood. Remember how oh so good that felt? It relaxed you. For those breif moments, the rest of the world goes away. It's just you and me. You create your own pain, and whatever else happens, seems to always be less than the blood. You want to hurt yourself before others hurt you.

But...

Take me Hunter. You ugly fat girl. Take me, and drag me across your skin. Leave more scars. You want to see the blood. You want to know you're alive. Because right now, everything just seems like a sad, sad tragic movie. And you know it's all your fault.

I know. I know...

So I did. I grabbed my razor out of my bag and sat down on the toilet. I pulled up my shirt, and glanced down at my side. No, too many scars there. I looked at my arms. Never enough scars there... Already at least 100 on each arm. I took my razor in my right hand, and looked for a new spot on my left arm. I looked at the veins in my wrist. It was so easy. So fast. But I didn't. I cut 8 lines into my arm, in no pattern in particular. Then I decided to write something. So with the razor, I wrote the words, When Will I Die? 34 cuts in all. 42 counting the 8 before.

I sigh and walked back over to the sink. I watched the blood ooze from the cuts for a moment, then turned on the faucet and placed my arm underneath. The blood flowed down the drain. Minute after minute. I pulled my arm away from the water, and took a paper towel wiping the rest of the blood off. I pulled out my plain black hoodie from my bag and pulled it over my head. But just in case, I pulled my 12 rubber band bracelets out and lined them up my arm.

I glanced one more time at myself in the mirror, wiped one last tear from my eye, and walked out back down the hallway.