Fruitcake Sanctuary (GL)

Epilogue

"So that's how it happened," Sabi ko.

"That was very..um detailed for such a long story. And what a great love story though..." She said and I just smiled.

Yes we just had.

"Great but tragic.." Malungkot na Sabi ni Maria my patient. Yes I'm now a nurse here in LDV for months at ang first patient ko is Maria she's diagnosed with schizophrenia but she's harmless.

"And yes, it's a lot to remember, I wasn't going to forget bits and pieces of it, right? She's the most important person in my life--No, Panda has been my life after all, pero ngayon..I have to live with it. Alone." Sabi ko as I prepare her IV.

"I know, you can Cecelia, that's what Panda want you to do, living your life right?" She smile at hinawakan ang balikat ko.

Maria believed the story of me and Panda I told her, though as far as I was concerned, LDV and everything that sometimes had happened in me was nothing but a figment of my imagination.

She's my close friend here maliban kay Aries, Fin and Gabrielle. The fruitcakes have their normal lives now sa labas ng LDV.

I think they are now doing good.

"Yes,"

"So how do you feel now?" She asked.

I breathed deeply at tumingin sa langit nang magsalita ako.

"I believe that sometimes, the moment I say goodbye to her, could be as painful as a lifetime worth of pain that I can experience while living with the memories of my loved for Panda. I couldn't stop myself from hallucinating about all those things that could have happened, when she's gone.. I believe na nandiyan parin siya, expecting na makakasama ko parin siya sa tabi ko. I waited..motionless, for her to come back, to smile, or wave. But, I know she didn't, I mean it will never ever happend. I just continued waiting and pretending, while I stayed and still hurting.. Untill, I realized there was nothing else to wait."

"Bakit ano ang nangyari? Did she tell you something?" she asked me when I turned my head again towards her.

"She want me to let her go," Was all I could say.

"That's too hard for you,"

"I guess," Sagot ko. "The grief will never pass but it changes overtime,"

It left an open wound for a long time. A deep open wound that it hurts...still, but lessens over time, the hurt that it was way beyond tears and so my face were dry.

And there will always be a scar. But it somehow a reminder of my love for Panda.

She was an untold story, I didn't disclose her, but everytime I hear her name, something inside me crumbles..

In the quiet moments, when the world seemed to slow down, her face would appear in my mind, and I would smile at the beautiful memories we had created. A Bittersweet reminder of a love that was pure and true.

Pero nagawa ko ng ngumiti sa mga bagay na magaganda at kapag ako ay masaya, no more faking it.

And everyday I leave the bed, I'm a little more tired than yesterday, every night I go to bed I'm a little more exhausted than last night.

But somehow I win the wars of getting In the bed and getting out of the bed ignoring all the worrisome thoughts.

Somehow I survive everyday.

Somehow I survive every night.

I just live my life now how it is supposed to be.

By starting over.